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| Going to San Jose. |
| 12.29.04 (7:27 am) [edit] |
ugh! Stupid rain! Oh well, I don't think it's going to impeade anything.
Went to the Indian Casino yesterday. It was kinda annoying because I had a coupon for $5 off food at any of the places in there. After waiting in the long buffet line, we were told we had to take the coupon all the way to the back of the casino (of course), wait in a nother forever long line there, and come back and wait in the long buffet line again.
We went to Cost Plus after that and bought cheap(er) Corona, and a few other types of uncommon malty adult beverages.
Off to the Bay Area for the day!
Current Mood: not super happy about the rain
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| family time is happy time |
| 12.28.04 (7:56 am) [edit] |
I am sick of my mother's passive-aggressive bullshit. First last night about Jeremy and I going to San Jose to see Susie, (which from what I can gather is because Mrs. Reed won't be home yet so I can't meet her at the same time), and now this morning because I didn't wake her up when Jeremy and I were out in the spa really late and I guess she slept in the chair until all hours of the night and is now pissy because I didn't wake her up. She acts like I was doing it to make fun of her or like a little experiment, "See how long mom can stay in the chair?" Of course if I did wake her, she would have gotten pissy with me. But she's pissy with me now, so I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Bitch...
 Jeremy and I saw Finding Neverland yesterday. I enjoyed it. It's only rated PG (as it should be), but there were a lot of children in the audience. I didn't think it was a very good movie for little kids; there was not a lot to engage them, and a couple of heavy themes. But as a grown-up movie, I liked it.
Then we met Andrea in Sacramento, and had an adult beverage with her.
Then we came home, where my mom was being her stupid self.
After that Jeremy and I went out in the spa for a couple of hours. By that time it had started to rain again. It wasn't nearly as steamy or cold as it was on Christmas when I could hardly breathe in it.
Now is that time when I wait for Jeremy to wake up so we can lay together and be loving towards each other.
Wonder what we'll do today. Tomorrow we are going to San Jose and the next day we going to Santa Cruz. Maybe I will look into getting the bike fixed.
PS It occured to me yesterday how glad I am that I am not Kelly. Oh, to live inside that head of hers. But I still feel bad for her. Current Mood: slightly miffed
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| Needing reassurance |
| 12.27.04 (7:32 am) [edit] |
That seems like a rather depressive subject considering how happy I should be (technically am).
I was going to bitch about some other things. But right this second they seem really petty. I got some news from a friend.
I wish Jeremy were up!
I guess it's time to figure out when I am going to San Jose.
It's raining. I don't think Jeremy has ever seen a wet California, which took him aback in the summer. This is one of the few states where July rain is highly unusual. Of course, the weather my impact some plans to bike ride through Golden Gate Park, go to Tahoe (partially for snow) and other things.
Current Mood: worried and impatient
Edit note: The San Francisco weather is rain of varying degrees. Bloody weather!
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| MY BOYFRIEND IS FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!! |
| 12.26.04 (3:58 pm) [edit] |
My Christmas was fucking wonderful! Christmas eve pretty OK. A Christmas mass at my old church was less than an hour long and shorter than most of the masses on a normal Sunday at any of the ones up here. I miss that place!
I got a lot of great stuff, including a leather jacket and a Donald Duck sericel that looks like this:
 And a load of other great stuff, including a sexy outfit I plan to wear when he and I go out to dinner to Maccaroni Grill, a bustier purse that matches the outfit, some CDs, Princess Bride, Life of Brian, lots of pajamas, a little wooden guy from Ikea...and more.
But the best part of my day came later... I picked Jeremy up airport. It was one of the happiest moments I've had...ever. The little kitty looks about like how I was acting and feeling yesterday. If there is anything good about being in a long distance relationship, it is the initial sweet joyous moments of being together after so long...over five months...five months. I'm not completely certain that five months was worth one hour of an endorphin-enduced high. But it was wonderfully sweet, nice and almost surreal that he was actually there.
There is a weird feeling that has come over me; I think it's called happy. Or maybe it's very content.
Now we have to plan the rest of this time together. Tomorrow we will probably go to a movie. Current Mood: truly f'awesome What's on: Nintendo - Monopoly
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| this entry has no subject |
| 12.23.04 (3:34 pm) [edit] |
hmmmm.... yeah... I got nothing...
My fratority big sib sent me a t-shirt with the Greek letters on it. It's pretty cool.
anything else? My dad hasn't wrapped a single present of my mother's. I wonder how that is going to work out when we come back late tomorrow night.
My room is almost clean. I need to wrap like 4 more presents.
I can't believe Jeremy/Christmas comes day after tomorrow.
While cleaning my room i found a favor from a wedding or something. It was filled with pastel Easter M&M's, which I ate. Should I ever get a nice wedding, I want to pass out functional favors; something that people can actually use in their lives.
Current Mood: =http://img.photobucket.com/al...whatever... What's on: King of the Hill - Meet the Propaniacs
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| Family Party (yippy) |
| 12.20.04 (3:24 pm) [edit] |
Um, the party last night was mildly tolerable. The food was good. The only person I feel like I know or can talk to is April, My great-aunt's daughter-in-law. Everytime feels like the first time with those people. Mike was miserable because he quite erroneously assumed he would be allowed to bring his computer and about 5 DVDs he had brought with him into the party, and of course he wasn't, so he spent most of the time hiding, sulking, or being generally miserable and conversely making me miserable.
I worked some on the tattoo. I ended up realizing it was impossible to look right without any sort of reference. So first thing this morning I was looking at figure skaters and ballerinas.
What else? Cleaned my room some today. Did some laundry. Wrapped some presents with my mom.
I think I have been more concerned with December 25th than with Christmas. I had a whole list of why Halloween is better than Christmas, mostly thing related to stress, money, and people whining about Christmas shit in their media or otherwise phyiscal environment. But I don't see much point in it.
Current Mood: kinda bored What's on: King of the Hill: Bill of Sales
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| Rejected |
| 12.19.04 (12:31 pm) [edit] |
I was going to bitch one last time about going to this party.
But my computer needed a restartin' towards the end of my rant.
So I ended up watching Rejected instead. I am the queeeen of France! Yay! Ev'rybody Dance! I am a banana! I'm feeling fat, and sassy!
I wish there was a place you could download it from so you could see the glorious madness of which I speak.
That reminds me my dad got his first glimpse of Homestar Runner the other day. He laughed at it, just before questioning the potential spyware nature of it. He also watched the badgers and Kenya too. I finally found an animated badger that I could use as an Avitar! He would be underneath the animated Tinker Bell and Robert Plant/Feather thing.
Current Mood: kinda blah What's on: Political Science - Randy Newman
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| my gallery opening |
| 12.18.04 (1:07 pm) [edit] |
The last thing I wrote was how tired I was. I didn't write anything about my last day at Parkview teaching art.
They had to paint a monochrome picture. Instead of being in the cafeteria, they had some Vietnemese shindig going on there. So we had to go to the library (swell). Of course paint did get spilled on the carpet; the kids know I am supposed to be the only one distributing paint, and one of them got to the red paint before I could make my way back to help her, lots of red paint all over that nice blue carpet, of course.
The same boy who has been giving me all kinds of problems in the past, including being wild, doing his work half-assed or not at all was no different in the library on the last day of class. The principal has already talked to him once. Since it was getting a little late to expell him, I could either just leave him alone unless he's being too wild or destructive, or I could sit down with him and hold his hand through the assignments. The latter is not fair to the kids that genuinely are trying and working. But I tried to give him some attention, but I am not sure that I could have forced him to care or sedated him at all. Anyway, he was painting on his face and arms, and causing spills, and the pricipal happened to walk in and expelled him on the last day of class.
I think kids have challenges at this age "thinking outside the box" or beyond the truths they accept. I brought 3 colors, red, blue, and green. Kids who were painting in red were asking for green to paint the grass, and I refused to let them have it. They were just appalled that they would have to paint grass (or sky or whatever) in any other shade than the one they know to be true. I wonder if the prospect of green skies and red grass was as inconceivable then as it isn't now; I have purposely painted a green sky and sky-blue ground.
When you draw freehand when you are a kid, everything is outlined in black, the sun is always yellow, and goes in the corner, people stand on top of a line-ground, and there is a ceiling of blue for sky.
We had the gallery opening that night. I gave a little speech. I have found that I am more comfortable talking in front of 100 people than I am 2 in a social setting. All of the seemingly most interested students showed up and showed off their work. I contributed a plate of cookies, other people brought stuff too. One of the boys brought me flowers (it was so sweet!). His mom said he was always talking about what he did, and that I called his last picture "absurd" (I said "abstract" but she figured it out).
I came back to my room, attempted to study, went to bed at 10:30, got up at 8:30, took my last test, hopefully that went well of course it was in my least favorite class, biology. I paid for my upcoming semester of school, cleaned up my room, got in my car to leave San Jose at 2, (an hour later than I had hoped, oh well), got home at 6, saw Rod, and our neighbor across the street, talked to Jeremy, went to bed.
My biggest accomplishment today is I got my haircut! It feels sooo much better! Now, I think I am going to relax.
Current Mood: pretty OK
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| devoid of energy |
| 12.16.04 (5:37 pm) [edit] |
I had something reiterated today. It is easier to get through the day if I stay up all night than if I don't get enough sleep.
I feel exhausted. I am trying a new flavor of energy drink, Rock Star... they taste like Smarties
 Sobe is better.
This room isn't going to get packed or "vacuumed" tonight (and when i say vacuumed, I mean I get down on all fours with tape wrapped around my hands and pick up the loose particles because that is a far more effective way of cleaning the floor versus attempting to use the pathetic vacuums here that suck...or don't as that is the underlying issue.
I have decided I am going to spend my Sunday at Susan's working on Phi's tattoos.
Stupid biology! On Saturday I can wake up at noon if I want. The prospect sounds decadent.
OK, com'on. Do something productive. Study, clean, all of the above. Current Mood: Is it 12/25 yet? (Eight days)
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| My brain is full |
| 12.16.04 (10:30 am) [edit] |
 I feel like this right now; was up studying until 1:30, a dream was interrupted at 6 am. The dream had something to do with my Aunt Bonnie. Probably because her birthday is today. (I'll call her right now...she wasn't home). Had a test right after it too. So I feel kind of in a fog.
Decided I don't have enough time right now to wait in a line to pay bills, so I will be stuck doing it tomorrow. But I want to move out ASAP, so I have then resigned myself to be moved out and defrosted by tonight.
The reason I don't have enough time right now is because I have my last class that i teach today. And today we have our "Gallery Opening" which means not only do I have to do class, I have to track down some sparkling cider and cheese too.
I thought maybe I could get a real haircut before Jeremy comes since I haven't had a real one since before he came last time. They're all booked at the place I usually go. So after I do class today, I am sooo getting my bangs trimmed because they are driving me absolutely nucking futs and I can't wait until nearly a week after Christmas to deal with them.
They would leave me here with nothing to do for virtually 3 days and force me to stay up until the last minute!
Current Mood: exhausted
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| Mental break #2 |
| 12.15.04 (10:29 pm) [edit] |
Just 2 more days... just 2 more days... :? My bangs are truly driving me nucking futs! I'm about ready to take a scissor to them myself!
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| Dept. of the Interior |
| 12.15.04 (8:43 pm) [edit] |
Mental Study Break, more later: Why does the Department of the Interior deal with things that are outdoors? Just wondering... Current Mood:  stressed, bored, and wondering
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| Yay! |
| 12.14.04 (11:44 am) [edit] |
Yay! New political/cartoon avatars! Yay! Pay check from Oak Grove! Yay! I found my mom's Chirstmas present! Yay! I'm home! Yay! New links to some of my latest art works (under the fox make-up picture)! Yay! Out to lunch with my mom! Yay! New This Modern World and Strongbad E-mail
Now I need to clean my room, clean house for a little bit, and at some point, read or do homework.
Except now I don't want to go back and finish school!
Current Mood: pretty good
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| Tattoo You? or Mama I'm Coming Home |
| 12.13.04 (9:16 am) [edit] |
I met a friend of mine from the fratority in the eating area. She asked if I would draw her an angel/fairy deelie for a tattoo for her shoulder. I told her I would. We'll see how it goes.
I have finished the only real final I have until the ungodly hour of 7:15 on Thursday. My mom suggested I go home. I was reluctant at first. But the more I think about it, the more I like the idea. I could take a load of crap home with me, see about getting a much-need hair cut (shut up, Jeremy!), get that damn tail light out of my trunk, bug my dad to get Mike's bike fixed so that Jeremy and I can ride through Golden Gate Park.
I know if I stayed here I would just waste these next 3 days. I would sit around and do nothing or wander aimlessly slowly killing time. At least at home I could kill time around people I like
Current Mood: good What's On: Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac
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| Nightmare Before Chirstmas |
| 12.12.04 (12:21 pm) [edit] |
 I did something I have been wanting to for eleven years last night: see Nightmare Before Chirstmas on the big screen again at the Midnight Madness. The show was sold out; so many white kids between the ages of 13-30 wearing black from shoulder to foot...I suppose in my Alice Cooper shirt, I was no different.
 The guy at 7-11 yesterday said it looked scary and asked if it was a movie. Anyway, Nightmare was fun. I want to start doing that more often. I was all set to see Princess Bride there, when my family descended on me...
I feel like I am on auto piolot. Which is probably not a good thing. I am sort of in denial that I actually am obligated to accomplish anything the rest of this school year beyond what I have stayed up for multiple evenings accomplishing. At least I don't have to do anything for either of my art classes.
I wish it were a week from today...or better yet, 2 weeks from today.
I am actually going to have more art classes next semester than RTVF classes for the first time since I started taking RTVF classes! I think that's rather pathetic, but very exciting simultaneously.
OK, time to get back to either cleaning up or finding my production text book, or cleaning as a means to the other.
Current Mood: meh
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| this day |
| 12.11.04 (1:28 pm) [edit] |
What has happened to this day?
Where has my energy gone?
I need to do something! But I know not what...
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| this entry has no subject |
| 12.11.04 (10:50 am) [edit] |
There was a survey on here for my readers...but I realized I don't have any readers...well, not many anyway. And no one probably wants to waste their time with it anyway.
I don't know why I am writing this. Procrastinating from the 3 or 4 other things I need to do; gym (at long last), pack and clean up here, watch the last 2 of 4 movies I rented, buy a ticket to see Nightmare Before Christmas for tonight at...what time does the midnight movie start?
Yesterday, I did have a drink of lunch (because it sounded good; actually the pina colada was too sweet; my home made ones are what I really wanted; heavier on the pineapple, easier on the coconut).
Last night I watched Rushmore and most of a movie called Waking Life that I wanted to see a long time ago, but found it in the video store. Tonight/tomorrow I get to watch Out Foxed and Wag the Dog.
Damn, there are a lot of cars here for a Saturday; it looks like 9:00 on a Tuesday morning.
I should get dressed or accomplish something.
Current Mood: bored What's On: Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne
PS 13 days!
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| something to do |
| 12.10.04 (7:40 am) [edit] |
I need something to do today. But what?
I want it to be away from here, (meaning off campus) and preferably not involve any shopping malls.
Maybe I'll go to Barnes and Noble in Almaden Fashion Plaza, buy a pina colada (yes, a real one) at Chevy's, then go there.
Do I feel like going to San Francisco today...? Maybe? Sounds like a fun impulsive thing to do. What would I do there though? (Most likely not bike ride). I will save SF for in a few weeks when Jeremy is here.
Current Mood: Pondering where to go...
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| (see blog title) |
| 12.09.04 (9:33 am) [edit] |
I would have written this last night, but I was incredibly tired not to mention overwhelmed once again with that tredmill feeling of the scenery never changes no matter how long or fast you run, so maybe I should just stop expecting to see any positive changes.
But happy stuff first:
 I went to the KSJS free prescreening of Life Aquatic. I saw it with Andrea's friend Narineh, and her boyfriend who just happened to show up. It was very funny and irreverent but very different from Royal Tennebaums. There was a lot of fanciful stop-motion ocean creatures that I really liked (directed by the same director of Nightmare Before Christmas). I had a good time...
It seems I post this comment a lot: "Pleasure comes in small doses; it's a cigarette, a chocolate chip cookie, a five second orgasm. You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up, you go to fucking work. End of story, okay!!!" --Dennis Leary
The later part of the evening brought the aforementioned tredmill feeling, along with the damned if I do, damned if I don't feeling, and the recurring why I am I not allowed to be generally happy for more than a few weeks at a time? question. I guess that last one gets back to that whole Dennis Leary quote...
I'm tired of being jealous of almost everyone in a relationship whose partner lives in the same town/county/area code/state/500 mile radius/side of the Mississippi as themselves.
But there are no good answers... Oh, to be The Apathetic Wonder, ever undaunted and unbothered by things.
I think I have a truly bizarre personality flaw. This is that I don't quit things that I don't like or that are hard. I could have stopped taking AP History/Honor English in high school, gotten out of that horrible Japanese class with a W grade, dropped out of Tau Delta Phi, I could choose a major that will allow me to graduate a year or less sooner, I could have opted not to persue a relationship a relationship with someone in the same town/county/area code/state/500 mile radius/side of the Mississippi as myself.
But I haven't done any of those things. Why? It would be so much easier to say, "Yes, I will stop doing these things because they are difficult and/or uncomfortable." But I don't! WHY?! This is when I feel like that coyote picture on Sunday 12.05.04 [9:00 pm]
And no Jeremy, this is not my subtle way of breaking up or saying I don't want to be in a realtionship with you.
There are no good answers for the way things are going to happen.
I didn't really make up a Christmas list this year. I don't really care. But I have decided to officially ask for this item, which immediately struck a chord with me the first time I saw it.

Current Mood: a bit depressed What's on: I Miss You - Rolling Stones (that song is total coincidence)
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| last time, I promise! |
| 12.08.04 (3:25 am) [edit] |
This is the last morning I promise I will see 5 am.
I've been up all night again, this time working on that drawing below. Damn satin skirt.
5:00 is the worst.
Why do I have a quiz in 3.5 hours?!
It's almost over. If I can make it through today, everything will be better!
Maybe if I am feeling alert enough, I will go to the prescreening of The Life Aquatic by the same people who did Royal Tennenbaums, has some of the same cast.
OK, mental break over. Read history. (I am going to bomb this quiz, which is OK because the lowest score is dropped). I wouldn't even go if I didn't have another quiz to turn in.
Current Mood: tired and hungry What's on: Bad to the Bone - George Thuroughgood and the Delaware Destroyers
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| time wasters |
| 12.05.04 (7:00 pm) [edit] |
here is a little something I concocted in Photoshop while refusing to do homework:
 That's strange, I don't quite feel like myself... Unfortunately, I feel this drawing is an insult to Daffy Duck. Daffy Duck could be the perfect president. He's greedy, power hungry, amazingly inept, wild and crazy in his younger years, and there is nothing low enough he won't stoop to to get his way.
I feel like this a lot:
 don't ask me to explain or give an example.
I promise, now I will wor--
after talking to Jeremy
Current Mood: bored
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| Countdowns |
| 12.05.04 (5:51 pm) [edit] |
11 days and 9 hrs till my last final is over 19 days till Christmas/boyfriend 79 days till birthday 109 days till spring break 170 days till spring semester ends 900 days till my potential graduation
I went to Santa Cruz today. I don't know why. But I got the name of the restaurant that has the $2.50/$10 per liter margaritas, it's called Miramar Fish Grotto on the Municipal Wharf.
I went to KTEH on Thursday night. I was on TV standing behind the camera for 4 seconds (only 14:56 minutes left).
I need to be productive and work.
Political avatars coming soon. Because since I can't cover my car in bumperstickers with every statement I agree with me, I can my website.
Current Mood: meh
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| and on the 7th day, she rested |
| 12.05.04 (8:06 am) [edit] |
Well, just a little. I still plan on doing schoolwork today. I have a drawing to do and some biology crap (the latter shouldn't take too long). This is part of the picture I am drawing:

It's been a busy week.
I find in the art class I teach, I get a lot of boys who right after I explain how to do something say, "I don't know what to do!" So frustrating. There is one little brat that I wish I had expelled earlier. How he ever got to be in GATE is beyond me because acts like he has ADD or something. He always half-asses his work. I was trying to get them to draw grids on pictures using rulers. I saw his grid, and it did not look like he even tried to make them straight. In fact, it looked like he had the caffine shakes when he did it. I told him he didn't use a ruler, and he kept insisting he did. He never did what he was asked.
Yesterday was my official fratority initiation. I won an (evidentally, rare) award for persistence, I guess. I may have been apathetic, but I was an apethetic person who kept showing up (considering almost half of the people dropped out, I guess that's saying a lot).
We had to do a skit. We did the Powderpuff Girls, where we were all named after snack cakes. I was Snowball, "Filled with coconutty red dye #2 goodness" who kinda goes off the deep end. It's fun to not have to pretend to be sane.
I also presented the paddle that I spent all of Friday working on (except when I went to the grocery store at 11:00 to get a little sanity, and junk food) and a good part of yesterday morning. Rather than gluing the letters and stuff on, I painted a picture of the tower looking up with the plank and chair on the balcony (you can kinda see it in the picture). Everyone said it was very impressive. The picture will come in the margins soon.

My dad came to the thing too. It was at the Hilton in downtown. I guess we are going out for breakfast sometime. Maybe they went to 9:30 mass.
It's good to get my dignity back.
Jeremy got the envelope I sent him, which included a digtal picture of myself on 3.5" floppy and an advent calendar.
Time to do something else.
Current Mood: relaxed for right now What's on: Any Way You Want It - Journey
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| I'll sleep when I'm dead! |
| 12.01.04 (3:06 am) [edit] |
I don't know if I have ever seen 5 am two days in a row. I think that by tonight I will have had about 4 hours of sleep since Monday morning.
Energy...drink buzz...wearing off... How much longer is it till 7 am?
If I didn't have to be at class by 9, I would sleep. Of course, it is for that very class that I am studying.
If only I didn't have so much shit to do! "Why are you stressed? You are supposed to be relaxed after coming back from Thanksgiving," says my mom. No, Thanksgiving is that eerie calm before a storm of papers, finals, and other good things.
Must get back to work and accomplish everything I need to do this week.
Current Mood: hangin' in there!
Dude, where's my background?
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Online Portfolio
Something else will go here soon
KSJS Radio Promotion
5 KSJS Drops
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