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| My birthday(s) |
| 02.27.05 (9:17 pm) [edit] |
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That last entry was about the feeling that, not so much you want everyone around you to be miserable, but you just want to feel like for just a few minutes you have something that no one else in your demographics has. Plus, it was prompted by some other things that were happening that are now unimportant, and not quite what I was convincingly mislead to believe they were. Let's see... On my actual birthday I heard from my parents, my aunt Mary (who predictably did call early in the morning), Bonnie, Jeremy's aunt, and my grandma, and my boyfriend. I half surprisingly did not hear from maternal grandmother who, because her boyfriend and I have to share a star sign, has opted to be with him. I don't have a problem with this. She did leave a check and homemade card. But still... Kelly, Andrea and I started out about 8pm. We first went to the Cinnebar by Andrea's, where I saw a guy who hangs around the Radio TV Film and Theatre area. Then Lido's (which was a Mexican club with loud music and incense). My curiosity about Lido's has been satisfied.  After that was the San Jose Bar and Grill (which was much quieter than the last time I was in there). We had an adorable waiter who looked like Ryan Stiles. I ordered the dirtiest-sounding drink they had, which evidentally was a blow job.  Then we went to Mission Ale House where I had a cotton candy (incidentally, these are only the new drinks I am accounting for). I met up with a guy I know from my dorm and a class of mine. Evidentally, he goes out and partys on Thursdays. So he came in, hung out with us. All 4 of us went into the back and danced. I danced with him. Then was O'Flannery's after which point much of the night becomes spotty. But the way I see it, most of the worst parts were edited out, and I obviously had fun. I woke up about 6 am in Andrea's apartment, and went back to my dorm, and woke up a couple hours later for class. I was not hung over. My stomach wasn't real happy. But you can't be too hung over if you are still slightly buzzed when you wake up. (Yes, I was that bad. No, I don't want to hear it). I feel like in that drawing class, I can't get ahead or be better than anyone else. I feel like I am never doing the right thing. And I always get the worst criticisms because of where I sit; he gets to me first, tells me what I am doing is wrong, which reminds him to tell the rest of the class to not do things the way I am. After class, I packed up my laundry, got Kelly, and we drove to Granite Bay. This was the first time I had been home since leaving after winter break. I was very hungry. When I got in the door, my dad asked what kind of sandwhich I wanted from Subway, little knowing that this would further an argument already in progress. The argument was about my father's unwaivering stance on eating meat during Lent, and how since he has imposed his religion upon us, my brother and I were not to eat it either. This went on for a half hour. He was a complete ass about it, "I could go on for all the religious reasons about why we do that..." We ended up with 1/2 cheese, 1/2 sausage pizza (that I think Mike was supposed to pick the sausage off of, "But he can have all the sausage he wants tomorrow"). In the same conversation, I was told pretty much I could not go to Joe's Crab Shack unless we were going to go at 3:00 in the afternoon, and belittled my reasons for going there, "Why? Because you want to have a drink? Well, they have drinks at the Indian Casino." When I thought about it, it seemed almost every tiff this weekend was over food. I wonder why food should be such a stressful topic? Well, it was about that, and the fact that my dad won't do anything about the drier taking litterally about 7 turns to dry a load of laundry (meaning I brought every bit of clothing home with me dirty because the 2 loads ahead of me didn't dry). Kelly and I sat out in the spa. We talked to Jeremy for a while whilst in the spa.  The next day, Kelly and I had lunch at Red Robin and saw Sideways. I enjoyed it very much (more than Kelly, although she is warming up to it) for a few reasons. As a whole movie, I thought it was a funny and poignant story about depression, desparation, and midlife crises. As a piece of art, first off, I enjoyed that many of the scenes were in recognizable spots in/around Solvang. In addition, I appreciate that there was probably not a single set piece in it; every restaurant, gas station, and even the hotel room were the real thing. If you have money, it's probably easier to deal with a set you can make/design/light yourself. If you don't, the limited space, as in a restuarant or hotel room, is far more challenging, and not just for manueverability reasons. So I very much appreciated the work in making not only the space work, but getting all the necessary permits to do it.After this, we came back, and went to the Indian Casino for dinner. I have figured out why casinos have buffets. They, like everything else in a casino is a gamble. Lots of people come and bet that they can eat more food than they originally put up. I suspect that the house usually wins. However, we all 5 of us gave it our best shot last night, and we went home feeling very full, which, like the drinking incident, means it was very good. We went back home where I opened presents. I got a couple checks from my grandmothers, money from Jeremy's mother. Kelly gave me socks reminiscent of an old instance between us, and a Small World shirt resembling the Holland section. From my parents, I got a DVD set of Marx Brothers movies and one of Bob and Bing "Road Pictures," a Shag book, underwear with Sugar Daddies and Sweetarts on them, a Howard Pyle pirate book, (if you want to see this man's influence, ride Pirates of the Caribbean), gift certificate to Old Navy to buy a shirt I like, a drawing book, a Monty Python CD, Arsenic and Old Lace DVD, a Donald Duck doll made of denim  a Tinker Bell and Jack Skellington umbrellas, a pretty glass necklace, two mermaid posters:   and much of my upcoming trip to Kentucky in 26 days comped. I was very pleased. Kelly and I went out into the spa again with the intention of drinking. But we were still so full we barely made it through the 6-pack, felt nothing but bloated and went to bed. This morning we did cake. We had a Butterfinger ice cream cake (very good), and a chocolate cake (because Mike doesn't like Butterfingers). I was sent home with many sugar-based products, more than I need. I had probably the best birthday in awhile. I had lots of fun with my best friends (except Jeremy) on Thursday, was very relaxed the next 2 days, saw a movie I could enjoy on many levels, I was not nearly so depressed because of my boyfriend/lack thereof. It was just in general nice and enjoyable. I am tired. I should probably go to bed now in the hopes that maybe I will wake up earlier and get work done. Sorry this was such a long entry. Current Mood:   Tired and content
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| 2 Comments |
| Misery misses its company |
| 02.23.05 (9:17 pm) [edit] |
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Why can't anyone be as miserable as Jeremy and I for just a few minutes? One thing I miss about uJournal (besides my cute mood icons of the little anime girl) is the option for a private entry. Current Mood:  Frustrated
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| 1 Comments |
| Birthday Tomorrow |
| 02.23.05 (7:20 pm) [edit] |
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Tomorrow is my birthday. This birthday is going to be a lot better than my last. On my last birthday, I bought 2 24 ozers for the first time and drank alone in my room. This time, my friends can legally party in public with me. One of my paternal anunts and my uncle have taken me out to dinner on my birthday the past couple years. I guess they forgot this year. If I had nothing better to do I might be more put out. Oh well. That just means we can get started partying earlier before it gets noisy, crowded and I can still go to bed at a semi-descent hour for class the next day. At the same time, I had better remember to turn my phone off tonight just in case I get a 6am, "I just wanted to call and be the first to wish you a happy birthday" calls. Maybe there won't be another fire alarm tonight. In which case I will not have to worry about being hit on by creepy older guys. I've decided to go to Joe's Crab Shack for my birthday, mostly because I want to try a fun-looking blended rainbow drink called a tie-dye. Current Mood:  Pretty GoodWhat's on: Jet Airliner - Steve Miller Band |
| 1 Comments |
| Fire and beer again |
| 02.23.05 (12:06 am) [edit] |
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Just got out of it. Well, at least this time I wasn't asleep, and I was fully clothed. Of course I hear now it was a false alarm. If it weren't for fire alarms I would probably never buy beer. It turns a negative experience into a positive one. Not only do I get an adult beverage out of the deal, I get to let the throngs thin out. If you listen to them, they collectively sound like banyard animals. At the same time, it would have been nice to get beer without being hit on by a creepy guy who was i guess being especially nice because my t-shirt with my fratority's letters on it indicates that I am a sorority (and therefore, party) girl. Current Mood: I'm not quite sure how to feel... |
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| the past |
| 02.22.05 (11:12 pm) [edit] |
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I wish a few little things in my past were different. I wish some people could let those things go; I want to forget some things happened, (or didn't). Other people don't want to respect my wishes and let it die! Some people will never know the inferiority I feel about certain things sometimes. I wish I could let go of some things myself. I wish I could make myself believe it really didn't matter... Current Mood:  depressed
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| 1 Comments |
| Fratority Crap |
| 02.22.05 (9:58 am) [edit] |
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I will be so glad when this last little event to trick people into joining is over! This has eaten into my drawing and breathing time so much, dammit! At least this pretty much all I have to do as the lowest-ranking officer. Which at first made me sad, but now I am kinda relieved. I feel like I live at Kinko's lately! Current Mood:  Ack!What's on: Fly Like an Eagle - Steve Miller Band |
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| Stupid photos! |
| 02.20.05 (3:07 pm) [edit] |
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Well, after I waste over 2 hours of drawing time sorting through 4 semesters and several gigabytes of large pictures for the fratority down to 32 to fit on a memory stick, and no digital printing center accordingly anywhere, including Kinko's or Walgreen's. I thought everyone was off a CD standard as the USB port thing was much easier, and more environmentally friendly. But I guess it's easier to inconvinience people than to update their little kiosks which eliminate people all together. Shit. I don't need this! Current Mood:  frustratedWhat's on: Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
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| i'm still here... |
| 02.19.05 (8:48 pm) [edit] |
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There have been many times in the past week where I have sat down fully intending to update. But even after I write a half hour's worth of dribble that no one cares about I just close it all. That last part was not intended to sound martyrish. I just stare at what I've written, realize that I don't care, and no one else should either. Nothing amazingly frustrating or wonderful has happened to me. But I am still alive. I'm not sure why I am writing now. I may close it again before I am done. My plan to do 30 pages of drawings this weekend is failing miserably. I have barely drawn this week. I feel like I have been busy. I stayed up all night between Wednesday and Thursday just catching up on stuff. What's been happening? I saw Mice and Men at school and had some drinks with Kelly last night. I've watched Jaws for the first time. Sometime this morning I woke up, hit my forehead (I don't remember how, I just remember I did) and forgot about it until it started hurting this morning. I hate this weather. Dammit, stuff sucks right this second. I have spent most of this day mentally alone and doing only a few things aside from drawing. This weather has made me feel lethargic. All I want to do is lay in bed. But at the same time, cabin fever sets in really fast. I hate days like this. I feel increasingly lonely and horny. I miss Jeremy's company. At least it's only 34 more days before that problem will be resolved. Maybe tomorrow I will go to a movie. I don't know which one since there is nothing I am absolutely dying to see. I should draw, I guess... Noooooo!! No pop-ups on Mozilla! This is not supposed to happen!! I hate those commercials for the Shane Company Jewelers. They said over Valentine's Day that the day you buy your significant other a ring will be the happiest day of her life (how sad for the recipient of that ring! No other event in her life is better than the day she got a ring). They talk about how she'll show it off to all her friends, and it's the thing she will associate with her marriage. The underlying message being, "So don't fuck it up or she'll lay the guilt on you forever; come here and do it right the first time." I say if that's the kinda person she is, Dump her! Run away! Current Mood:     tired, hungry, bored, hornyWhat's on: Gimme Shelter - The Rolling Stones |
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| So, it's Valentine's Day... |
| 02.14.05 (3:12 pm) [edit] |
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I got presents today from 2 people. One was a small box of chocolates from my mom along with a Blockbuster Gift Card (depending on the amount, I know exactly what I am buying with it, A Mighty Wind, Christopher Guest is f'awesome). And from my boyfriend, I got a very sweet card, and other very sweet things (I won't get into all of them because I know you don't care). I don't know what happened to me this year. I didn't send my mother a card; my mother who equates love with such things which I didn't realize until Friday or Sunday. And even though I was thinking a week or 2 ahead with Jeremy's present I still didn't put it in the mail until...very recently.:? This year is so much better than last, for the most part. Last year I was depressed in general, but especially on this day. This year I have spent nearly every spare minute drawing or something that SAD hasn't happened. Plus now I've got something to look forward to in 40 days (yes, the countdown has begun). Still, I wish I could just hold him... On the other hand, this year I probably won't be waking up on the floor of Andrea's bathroom because I couldn't find my way out in the dark so I opted to just stay there. That was actually a pretty fun night, we saw 50 First Dates. Kelly usually comes up 'bout this time. Today she is sick. It is probably just as well. I have shit to do. Plus I don't have to listen to the fun time she and her new boyfriend or is going to be having later today like I did last time (with her old boyfriend) which made me seethe with jealousy. Someone outside is singing the Badgers Badgers Badgers song! Oy! The backs of my legs! Ever feel like you are limping with both legs? I'm not sure if it's because of the bike ride itself or the 400+ steps up to Coit Tower. (I'm guessing the latter since the bike ride is pretty easy). My cousin Matthew came by last night, which was a total surprise. I guess he and his buds were in downtown and just decided to come up and see me. Better do some constructive work now...which is very hard with that hyper little giggly twit over there! Someone sedate her or gag her or something! Happy V-Day! Current Mood: pretty goodWhat's on: Take a Walk on the Wild Side - Lou Reed |
| 2 Comments |
| It's official.... |
| 02.13.05 (7:41 pm) [edit] |
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1. I am not going to get everything done I had hoped this weekend 2. I did get one thing done that I had really wanted to (besides an Embarcadero field trip) make spring break plane reservations to Nashville for Saturday, 3/26 to return to Reno on Saturday 4/2. (For some reason it is cheaper to end up in either Reno, San Jose, or Oakland than Sacramento). Current Mood:  excitedWhat's on: Smokin' - Boston |
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| What I drew yesterday |
| 02.13.05 (4:30 pm) [edit] |
Yesterday, I went to San Francisco and rode on the Embarcadero. I drew (in different ways) the following things:   then I walked (yes walked) the 400+ steps seen in this picture:  I am so glad I am not a mailman to these neighborhoods! Then I went back onto the water front and drew: %20print%2075%20scan.jpg)   (One of those scantily clad women up there) And then I turned around, got a cookie from Ghirardelli with the same dimensions/mass as a McDonald's hamburger, bought/ate a soup in a breadbowl at Fisherman's Warf, and went back to my car from Pier 39 as fast as I could. It was pretty fun. Next time I go, unless it is with Kelly, I will skip the bike and just go to animal places and museums (ie Exploratorium, Zoo, the temporary Steinhart). Then I made myself stay up and watch Garden State. It was OK. I was disappointed. It was as off-beat as I was hoping, but I thought it would be funnier, more like a Wes Anderson movie (probably one of my favorite directors). Today, I've been doing everything I should have at least partially delgated to yesterday. Even if I had nothing else to do yesterday besides homework, I probably still wouldn't've done it. I still have 47 pages to fill in my book by 2/27 to be on schedule. Which means I have 147 to do by 3/31. The good thing about going to San Francisco and being compelled to draw so many things it fills up the book fast. It's just the rest of the time when the thought of doing another still life is boring. Would have booked my plane ticket earlier today, but my dad decided to go out Valentine's shopping 2 minutes after I called home at 3:00. This is not surprising, because it is typical of him, but more so because last weekend I called asking his opinion on what I should get Jeremy, and he couldn't figure out why I would be buying him anything. Current Mood:  noneWhat's on: Crumblin' Down - John Mellencamp |
| 1 Comments |
| How could I not? |
| 02.12.05 (7:00 am) [edit] |
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I don't feel too shitty right now. As of right now, it's a nice day. If I get everything done I need to do, how could I not go to San Francisco for an Embarcadero bike trip/drawing field trip? At least Kinko's is open now. (They weren't last night, da bastards; every other Kinko's i've seen is open 24 hours. And after I walked all the way over there and everything). What time does that mailing store open? (If any website would acknowledge it was a business, I would know). Current Mood: pretty goodWhat's on: Gimme Three Steps - Lynyrd Skynyrd |
| 1 Comments |
| Make the pain stop!! |
| 02.11.05 (6:14 pm) [edit] |
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I attended a lecture on the history of animation today. It would have been a lot better if I wasn't in excrutiating pain. After the hunt for my miracle drugs failed, all I could do was curl up into the fetal position and get horizontal, despite having shit to do. These included mailing Jeremy's Valentine's day present (which will not get there in time; I was so miserable last Valentine's Day, this year I've been too busy drawing to get SAD), and getting my bike from my Grandma's. Of course, the unexpected rain justified not doing anything. Why isn't the stupid library open past 6:00 on Friday? At least the other places I need to go are open later. I am never going off birth control again! I would highly recommend it to anyone who can get it cheaply, whether you are active or not (as I have not been). It makes things 10 times easier! Of course the rain and this would happen when I finally get my bike, after all I have wanted to do for the last 2 or 3 weekends is go to San Francisco for a drawing field trip. Maybe I'll be able to find those miracle drugs before then... In other news:  I bought my favorite teen movie on DVD the other day. It's kinda an anti-teen movie. I was only one of 2 people that got a 5/5 out of my diagnostic essay for 100W. Yay. Damn, there are a lot of library books in here! This is the one I am currently reading:  It's part of my Anne Bonny research. I have a bunch of pirate and Zoobooks around here! I need to clean up. I am going to be doing that thing Jeremy calls "working for free." That is, doing more technical volunteering at PBS. Shiiiiiiiiiiit... I need drugs, chocolate or probably both. Current Mood:  In a lot of damn pain!What's on: King of the Hill - Spin the Choice |
| 1 Comments |
| I hate American History |
| 02.09.05 (10:13 am) [edit] |
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I seem to be more irrated with the subject this semester than last (and it's only 2 of 14 weeks in, dammit!). All I can think about when I am studying is "I really do not want to invest 4 hours of time in which I could be drawing/sleeping studying this incredibly pointless crap!" I know it's not pointless, but what is pointless is the fact that we have to have weekly quizzes on the material that are just so stupidly detailed, and so often despite the seemingly vast amounts of potential drawing time I invest in the class, I can't seem to do well; if I test myself on every fucking little name in the book, sure enough it will be the one that somehow escapes me halfway through the third hour that fucks me over. If the quizzes were kind of more "big animal picture" as my dad likes to say (I don't know why either) and something like, "Describe the farming and how it changed" in an essay question, that would be super. But instead it is like, "What did the company that Joseph Minute founded in 1858 sell?" Who the fuck cares?! He's dead now, people selling things had it bad, but how does him selling shit way back then affect my life?! Shit. I was up until 3:30 last night drawing because couldn't do it earlier because I had to read 30 pages of American shit. Current Mood: Bitter and tiredWhat's On: Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress - The Hollies |
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| So, I finally looked at my latest grades... |
| 02.04.05 (9:53 pm) [edit] |
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And I was plesantly surprised! I got my 2nd A ever in any art class! (High school included, of course the first art class I ever took was with a bipolar bitch who refused to be medicated...not sarcasm from what i've heard). Believe it or not (because I don't!) I got a higher grade in my biology class, where I was most likely to fall asleep, than my TV production class! That just seems somehow bass ackwards. I got a better grade in American History than I thought, I got an A in Biology  , B- in History, A in TV Crit, A- in Life Drawing, B+ in production, and full (1) credit in Art 1.Jeremy collects beer bottles, so I decided tonight to add a new one to his collection:  Pacifico Cerveza Consider it your Valentine's present, sweetie!! Today has been one of those days where lots of good stuff happens; first the class thing, now the grade thing! My GPA is on the up! Now that my fine motor skills are shot and getting worse by the drink, let's see if I can draw! (Incidentally Jeremy, I'm using the backspace just for you!). Current Mood:   Buzzed and happy with how things are going at school (finally)Current Mood: Everybody Loves Raymond - The Contactor |
| 2 Comments |
| ...authority SOMETIMES win |
| 02.04.05 (3:01 pm) [edit] |
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Yes, that means sometimes the don't win like today! I successfully added the Theater Arts Writing class today, but not without talking to three or four people. Bottom line: I win! Feeling like you did something against the odds feels great Current Mood: I win! I win! I win!
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| 1 Comments |
| I fight authrority... |
| 02.04.05 (7:01 am) [edit] |
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Wish me luch as I attempt again to fight the bureacratic and oddly binary system that is this college! Time to kick ass the way my dad does. It pisses me off that these boneheads at student services so often forget that were it not for me, and 27,0000 other people like me, they would be out of job. Yet, if you go to customer service at a store they don't treat you like you are wasting their time. Current Mood:Perhaps stupidly optimistic. |
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| College Sucks! |
| 02.03.05 (9:14 am) [edit] |
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I fucking hate college, and the mucky muck that is college! More on this story as it develops, or most likely doesn't. Had hoped to have a relaxing 4 hours or so before class, but that doesn't look like a possibility anymore, dammmit. Current Mood: frustrated with the system
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| 2 Comments |
| Stupid US Crap! |
| 02.01.05 (2:18 pm) [edit] |
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I don't have time to study American history/politics! I have drawings to do! Current Mood: frustrated
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| 1 Comments |
| Sketchbook Math |
| 02.01.05 (9:51 am) [edit] |
My new goal is to fill this new sketchbook of 100 back-and-front pages by 3/31/05. This 3 drawings per day. Which means that 2 I've been doing is going to need to be upped. If I continued at my current rate, at the end of the semester I will have filled one book, and started on a second. This way, I will have filled 2/3 of a second.I am also going to make a point of getting out specifically to draw more. If I don't get my bike this (ugh!) weekend where should I go? Current Mood:  Whatis on: Strawberry Fields - The Beatles |
| 1 Comments |
Something else will go here soon KSJS Radio Promotion
5 KSJS Drops