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| Damn Dorms |
| 04.30.05 (7:53 am) [edit] |
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I am so glad I'm not living here next semester. I say this because if someone has a fire issue at 4:23 in the morning, let that be their challenge, not mine. Whoever pulled that alarm or whatever (since I smelled nothing, and the fire didn't show up, just the UPD, they truly are a blessing!) owes me a beer. I went to the store and forgot that for some reason you can't buy beer between 2-6 in the morning. Time to finish my thank you and possibly do TPFH. I feel myself avoiding it. mmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnhhhh... |
| 2 Comments |
| Susquehanna |
| 04.29.05 (6:57 pm) [edit] |
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So, after class, I went to San Francisco where I found out that my favorite restaurants was closed, possibly since my last trip in February, it's Max's, even though they're a chain, none of are were as fun as that one; the other ones are snooty, this one was 50's themed, gave Bazookas at the end of the meal and had donut-esque onion rings. We went there a lot when we had the apartment. In fact, if we had the apartment, I would be spending the night there instead. *sigh!* Good times... Anyway, what I really wanted say was: I had my Susquehanna interview. I think I was probably overdressed. I never know how those things go. I thought my first Disney interview was great, and my second was bad. Got in both times. I was told "there are a lot of applicants." (Never tell me the odds!) But at the same time, there were probably more Disney applicants at SFSU that day than applying for Susquehanna, and they probably took as many people as they are. I wonder how many Susquehanna apps have Disney on them (if any). Whatever... So in conclusion, I don't know how it went. I thought later about an answer I could have answered better (dammit). Got another interview Wednesday. Now, TPFH or Twilight Zone Paper? Fucking TPFH! Oh! I just remembered! Listen here to my radio promo for class. And here are my drops. I throughly enjoyed doing them since by the time I started to do them I figured out what I was doing in ProTools. And you'd better listen to them and tell me how great they are! Henceforth, they will also be on the side there in the drawings. Anyway... Current Mood:  OK
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| 0 Comments |
| AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! |
| 04.28.05 (8:30 pm) [edit] |
 For the last couple of weeks, I have felt like I was on a centrifuge. I especially feel that now. That is that thing above, the thing that astronauts use that spins around unbefreakalivably fast and increases in speed and G-force, so that you are left with a white-knuckle experience and all you can do is hold on and try not to puke. Except unlike a centrifuge, there was no point where things started off a little slow and built up. It was like I got in the little pod and before I could pull down on my lap bar, I was going top speed. I especially feel that I as I am coming to accept that I am bolting out of class and driving to San Francisco to go for an interview with Sesquahanna (or for those of you playing the home game, 1077 Bone/KFOG/KNBR). Plus I've got my interview with WB20 on Wednesday, another drive to San Francisco. It's a little ironic; the thing I was so looking forward to last weekend about this weekend was going to San Francisco, but for a completely different purpose. Now, I'm going twice in one week, neither time for my intended purpose. I may go again on Saturday (I have special instructions to draw as many fish as I can, so a Steinhart trip is in my future). I can't believe how fast this semester is coming to an end! Adding further to the pressure and speed of the centrifuge. Meanwhile I don't think I am going to be working on the project from hell tonight (henceforth known as, TPFH, I should have done that a long time ago. And when I think about it, this project has been almost nothing but hell). I went on a shopping adventure yesterday. I say it was an adventure, because I bought a I saw the head of my fratority somewhere on campus today. She asked if I was ready for Saturday, the day of our biggest event of the semester. I said, "What's happening Saturday?" (I don't have any interviews Saturday. Nothing's due...). Yeah... I'm going to end this entry here. Anything below that is purely for myself. But you are welcome to see how fast the centrifuge is going...ah, screw it, I'll do it in a spread sheet. Current Mood:   naturally hyper from stressWhat's on: Rocket - Def Leppard on 1077 the Bone, one of 3 of my favorite radio stations! |
| 1 Comments |
| More Internship Opportunities |
| 04.26.05 (3:17 pm) [edit] |
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I should really get out of denial; a San Francisco bike ride is not happening this weekend. With all the other stuff I have to do, least of them go shopping. I don't think I have been to the grocery store since spring break was over with. It will be better next weekend (I tell myself this). The project from hell won't be looming like a vulture. The Twilight Zone paper will be done, my portfolio for Friday will be turned in, I will hopefully be more-or-less caught up on the painting that everyone seems to think is complicated. However, in my vernacular, looking complicated is not directly equivalent to looking difficult. I basically took 4 sports illustrated swimsuit models that were kinda sitting in the same position, cut them all up into 1/2" strips and rearranged them. It will probably be easier in some ways than making a painting of just one of them; first off, if something is off on a painting of a whole person, it may be obvious. If it's off on just a strip of the person, it's less noticable. In addition, to only see a tiny part of the whole image, you only see the weird shapes that were a part of something bigger. Besides, evidentally, I'm going to San Francisco a lot next week. I got a call from Susquehanna radio (who evidentally also owns Pfaltzgraff, the company that makes my mom's dishes. Susquehanna sounds like the name of an Indian Princess). They want me to come in Friday (which means I'm going to have to get a suit faster than i thought, dammit. That was one of the other reasons I wasn't going to San Francisco this weekend). And I got another call from WB. It's nice to have people wanting my services!:D I really want to go to Disneyland. Don't worry Jeremy, I won't put upon you to go with me. I really don't want to study American history crap right now. But I had better, especially since I didn't go to class on Monday because of the first good thing yesterday. And yes, it will be totally worth it. The other time I skipped class for this reason, it was very worth it (especially since it was my English 1B class and my teacher was a dickhead who cared less about developing ideas and more about an out-of-place comma). Well, I'd better do something... Current Mood:   Happy about the phone calls, not so excited about the American crap.
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| 2 Comments |
| Some great stuff, some crappy stuff |
| 04.25.05 (7:07 pm) [edit] |
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Crap. I have a hangnail that is hurting me hella bad. So a good thing happened this morning. A nuetral thing happened right after that; I saw Amee. I know she was going to school here (she graduated from UC Berkley, I hypothesize she doesn't know what to do with her life, hence she has gone bcak to school). I talked to her for a little while. I happened to be talking to my mom about a recent purchase and she talked to her, and then my mom said something about her being in my wedding. "I only had 5 bridesmaids" Gee, I wish I had 5 friends. I'm not into the big fat entourage thing. Besides, I only want my best friends to be in it. I don't want to have any ol' person in it just for the sake of having people in it. They have to earn it. Yeah, anyway... Then a bad thing happened. I went to class with my drawing, the one that holds me captive and enduces so much consternation and guilt. I just wanted to turn it in. I would have been happy to get a minimal pass and move the fuck on! Of course, that can't happen. And no one understands why I spend 12 hours a night all night on it, or get frustrated with the output and everything else in my life. That is why. I was told it needs to be perfect, so I'm trying to make it perfect. But this is a problem because it wreaks havoc on the plans of my weekend. I thought this could be over. On Friday I would catch up on my painting, Saturday, do stuff before the fratority formal, and then to my much-deserved bike ride/drawing field trip in San Francisco on Sunday. In my head I am screaming NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Just make it go away! Put me out of my fucking misery! I have almost had a couple of nervous breakdowns because of this God-forsaken thing!!! I've been told not to look at it until Thursday, and not to spend more than 5 hours on it at a time. I don't know what I'm going to do. All I want is to do one of my favorite things in one of my favorite places, just for me. But, we'll see... crap. If only that stupid formal wasn't this weekend! Damn thing! The last good thing was I got out of class and on my phone was a voice message from WB20 in the promotions. I have an interview there next Wednesday! We'll see how that goes. My dad is officially 50 today! His birthday was this weekend (which is just another reason I didn't get nearly what all I was hoping to do. Because the first thing they expect me to do is clean. Had I thought that they might not be sympathetic to my plight I probably would not have gone home). It was pretty fun. I should have probably gone figure drawing tonight. But I truly have other stuff to do; all the stuff I've been ignoring. Our homework for this week is to get 11 hours of sleep tonight. I doubt it's going to happen. Thought I almost lost my sketchbook! That would be bad. I think I am going to draw a picture of myself with a giraffe neck. But I also can't find the book that the picture is in. I have photocopies. But I need to find it! Current Mood  Blah
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| 0 Comments |
| Prisoner |
| 04.25.05 (12:19 am) [edit] |
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This project, this drawing, it has taken me captive. It consumes my life. I don't sleep more than 2 hours a night anymore because of it. It causes extreme feelings of guilt about doing things like going home for a birthday, or volunteering at PBS (which I think I signed up to do before spring break). I skip classes so that I can do work for another class because at night and in the afternoons I'm doing it for litterally hours on end. There are 3 or 4 other things I have ignored in favor of this thing that needs to be perfect. And just when I thought I got it, I didn't have it anymore. I'm taking a break now, a blog break. I need it. This blog keeps some of my sanity, such as it is these days. It looks like shit. It really does. And there is no hiding it. There is only one thing I can hope for. And that is that he won't suggest I take one more day to work on it and instead he gives me a passing grade and leaves it at that. I'm sick of this. I've got a life outside of this class, but you wouldn't know it. I'm also sick of people blowing sunshine and rainbows up my ass. Everyone around the dorms is saying, "Oh! It looks great! It's really coming along!" What the fuck do they know?! My dad made the point of 99%of the population thinks what I do is good. Fuck that 99%! That 99% knows shit. It's that critical 1% that I need to impress. I don't understand why I couldn't do it. All these little signs around my room are right. Everyone is better than me. And right now, there isn't anything I can do about it. I feel like a failure. Like none of my artistic goals will be realized. Maybe tomorrow I'll say some more positive things about my life. Hopefully, the skies will be bluer then. By which I mean I will be relieved of this project. No one has responded yet to my interest in an internship. Of course, none of them will give you a phone number and they all explicitly say, "No phone calls" and I said I would follow up with them in a week to check my status. But if they can't even email or call me to say yes or no, why should they write when I ask what is going on? Everything seems like shit! I told my parents I was going to San Francisco next weekend. They told me I shouldn't be afraid to tell them when I do. I don't think I'll be telling them again. Because when I do, I get, "Well, who are you going with? No one? Do you really think that's a good idea?" No one wants to go bike riding with me. I say that because most of the people who would can't, and because I will spend much of the time drawing and no one wants to sit around and wait while I draw. Well, that was a nice 20 minute break. Back to work, maggot! Current Mood:  Tired and stressed
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| 1 Comments |
| #$@#%$@%^@#!#$#^^&*$!@ |
| 04.21.05 (10:15 am) [edit] |
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AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! that is all. |
| 2 Comments |
| ACK! |
| 04.20.05 (4:04 pm) [edit] |
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I feel like even if I don't sleep I don't have enough time to do everything i need to do. I was a giraffe last night, or this morning. 11 More days until my bike ride! It's my only peace and event that I have to look forward to. Incidentally, Jeremy, you know why I refuse to go to the zoo with you. Because of the drawing from hell (which, to quote a line from Friends, "Makes me want to gouge my [eyes] out and reach in and swirl my fingers inside my brain"). My mantra of "Everyone is better than you, What are you going to do about it?" has become more of an annoyance than a motivator. Maybe tonight I will be a giraffe again. What do I need to do? Figure out summer (still!) Send out resumes Work on 112B busywork Put at least 6 hours into the drawing from hell Write my Twilight Zone paper Work out my next drawing. If at 7 I start drawing I can quit at 1 or 2! Tomorrow morning at 7 I have signed up for time to work on my radio project. I hate this time of year. The worst part is I don't feel like I've left anything to the last minute! Damn these Twilight Zone DVDs! I checked out 9 or 10 of them, 6 I had to take back because the episodes I wanted wouldn't play. Crap! I forgot to figure out what I wanted to be if I grow up! Current Mood: See subject, don't feel putting in that frazzled little star What's on: Twilight Zone - On Thursday We Leave for Home |
| 1 Comments |
| Gotta get out alive |
| 04.19.05 (8:28 am) [edit] |
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If I can get through these next two weeks, especially this one, without spontaneously combusting like a Spinal Tap drummer, everything will be a helluva lot better. I think I am skipping my painting class today especially since I have no materials for it and a shitload of other things I need to do too. I found out that I have two finals scheduled at the same time! Yay! And it is now officially official, I will not be taking summer classes at Sac State because they won't transfer, (Which is what I've been saying all along). And I finally got through to my dad that I wanted to do an internship and summer school at the same time. Which means I have wasted that much more time. Yay!  Life is good! Ev'rybody Dance! This is fun! 13 Days till I can go bike riding/shopping/to the zoo in San Francisco!! Current Mood:  Hungry and ACK!(I've seen that little star a lot lately). |
| 1 Comments |
| It's the most wonderful time of the year |
| 04.17.05 (6:56 pm) [edit] |
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Where is my boyfriend?! I called him last night, his battery wasn't charged. He said he would call me back in an hour. An hour and a half later I went to bed. I haven't heard from him since. I wonder how long that battery of his takes to charge. Been working on this drawing again. Started at about 12ish. This is the first real break I have had since then. After the upcoming Simpsons I am going back to work. My plan is to stay up all night tonight, mostly working on the drawing (all I care about right now is getting the outline done and perfect before moving on to having it almost done looking, and if he doesn't like it, too bad. I have till next monday to get it all done and I may stay up all night next Sunday too), sleep in Tuesday, stay up again Tuesday night, mostly working on the drawing again, and maybe work on it and some of the other crap I have been ignoring in favor of this drawing. If I could stay up all night then too I would; I want to do the rough draft to my Twilight Zone paper (what the hell did i do with that robots and aliens book?), but I still have to get up at 7 on Thursday because between 8:15 and 10:15 is the only time I could reserve any studio time for the promotional project, and I won't be able to sleep in Friday because of class then. And then right after that I have to drive home... And it's only 7:30 and I am tired. Damn, I wish I were a giraffe. Lucky 2-hour sleeping bastards. Something tells me I'm going to be investing a lot of money in energy drinks this week. I had to buy one when I was doing PBS the other night until almost 1 am. If I wasn't standing I would have been falling asleep. Was there anything else of any brillance I wanted to say, other than I hate this time of year, I hate 6 people jockeying for time I don't feel like I have anymore, I want to shoot myself. I hate pretending to care about some things. I have this sneaky suspicion that I am not getting an internship this summer. I say this because finding out where I am going to school in the summer is still to be determined, and I am beginning to doubt for various reasons that it's going to be in Sacramento. And yet my dad wants me to apply for internships at places that I would love to get them from, but I know that it's infuckingpossible for me for various reasons; mostly because I don't feel like I have anything more special than anyone else that they would want. So I think he is setting me up for disappointment. Yeah, it would be wonderful to work at Pixar or PDI, but it's not going to happen, especially not now. Oh, I remember, a couple of things; since I couldn't this week because of the party last night (at my aunts for my dad's birthday) and next weekend I have to go home for the birthday party my mom is having for him, and on Saturday of the following week is the formal for my fratority, on that Sunday, May 1st, weather/God permitting, I am going to San Francisco where I will ride through Golden Gate Park (not the Golden Gate Bridge via Golden Gate Park down some street with no sidewalks or bike lanes against my better judgement because I know that the two attractions are nowhere near one another), and I will go to the Haight and replace my sunglasses (again!) and I will probably also go to the zoo which is something I have been wanting to do for awhile also. One of the things I want to do in Golden Gate Park brings me to the other thing I want to talk about; it has already begun (what has?) I stupidly mentioned a conversation I had had with Jeremy (i haven't had one of those in a while. Damn him!) in which we were discussing the theme of our wedding and he was saying things like, "Spiderman...Dora the Explorer..." children's birthday party stuff. And I guess at some point, during my frustration with my school causually mentioned that I wanted to get married in September 2006, and first off, my mom says, "I need at least a year to plan this" (You need at least a year?). Then she starts asking me what kind of color scheme I want (A. Fuck if I know, B. Is that really the most important thing to figure out right now), how many bridesmaids do I want (just 2, I don't need a fucking entourage; if I had an entourage that would be one thing) and how i should be asking all my female cousins (why? They didn't ask me to be in theirs) and asking every female in his family (what? all his cousins? I don't know them) and like I said, this her taking over my wedding thing has already started. I like how she need s a year to plan it. I should have said, "Will they let you book a hotel room at the Ramada in Las Vegas a year and a half in advance? Hell, it may come to that! Anyone know where I can get a restraining order? The Star Wars movie comes out in 36 days, people are already lining up at the theater it may or may not be showing at. Who are these people that have no lives?! It would be sooo freakin' funny if he decided at the last minute to premire it at some place completely random, like that little tiny movie theater in Murray! If I were him I would do that. But I don't think even if I was a famous director I would make movies that have scary cult followings like that. Current Mood: stressedWhat's on: Simpsons - Future-Drama |
| 2 Comments |
| everything sucks |
| 04.16.05 (12:24 pm) [edit] |
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Crap. I don't feel like I've done a damn thing today. Well, I got some wavs for my next super-fun radio project (not sarcasm). It's such a beautiful day. I wish I could be biking in Golden Gate Park instead of [thinking about] doing homework or going to this shindig later this afternoon. I wish it were summer. I am frustrated with...I guess a little of everything. Somebody put me out of my misery! The things I want to go faster don't seem to, and the things I want to be slower aren't. I'm trying to figure out my summer with my dad, and it seems like in our conversations the same things get discussed over and over again, nothing gets done or finalized, and they end with, "We'll talk later." What a horrible flaw of birds and mammals that we should need sleep! This is especially ture of men. A girafe needs less than 2 hours of sleep per day. Lucky giraffes. I wish I didn't have to think about anything important sometimes. Current Mood:  whatever this symbol means
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| 2 Comments |
| I want to die! |
| 04.14.05 (2:34 pm) [edit] |
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See subject. This will pass. There is something comforting about the idea that, weather or not I'm ready for it, tomorrow will be here anyway. I wish I didn't have to go to a party this weekend so that I could catch up on all the crap I need to do. My art teacher asked me what I want to be if I grow up. What a difficult question! I'll ponder it later. The painting I made of the tiki was crit'ed today. The only honest defense I had for myself about why I did certain things, like paint the tiki blue, was, "because I like it," (and because my house is going to be those colors someday, and they remind me of paintings by Shag who you, professor, would probably hate because his work is not FUBAR). My next project will have something to do with color bars like on TV. I've got to work that out. Current Mood: stressed out
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| 1 Comments |
| this entry has no subject |
| 04.12.05 (10:31 pm) [edit] |
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Just a few things before I shower/sleep... Once again today, I am a lucky bitch. While most people would agree 3 hours is far too long for a class critique, if it means getting out of not having your piece lacking in completeness temporarily unrecognized then it is just long enough. (Last week was shit. So far so good this week). I finally got drunk on Saturday night with Andrea. Short version: Went to O'Flarhety's= U2 Concert let out, crowded=Went to Mission Ale House=Went to friend's party. The only other thing I want to say about that is we had the briefest conversation with two guys there. Andrea went to the bathroom so I was sitting at the bar alone. One of the two guys came up to me and said, "Your friend is cute." "Oh. Thank you." "Uh, you're cute too..." "Uh-huh..." I don't think I even tried to hide my contempt for him. Doesn't have the cajones to say it to her. So make me feel like crap instead. Nicely done, sir. Is this how you always pick up women? It took me forever to figure out how to record voice in ProTools this morning. I think I spent most of my session in the 600+ page manual and I still made a huge, hopefully-resolvable mistake. I forgot to mention yesterday that I spent Sunday driving to Tracy, meeting my parents at the Home Town Buffet there, and getting my new/dad's old phone. I also got my CDs in this visit. So everything has finally worked out. For reasons unknown a feeling of lonliness and insecurity comes over me. I wish Jeremy could hold me. I guess that was it. Current Mood: tired
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| 2 Comments |
| Relieved |
| 04.11.05 (12:19 pm) [edit] |
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I am one lucky bitch who does not want to die anymore. Yes, I was thinking that earlier. Not seriously tho... It's the most wonderful time of the year! An art project is kicking my ass and making me wonder why i ever thought drawing was something within my realm of capabilities. Plus it wasn't nearly as done as I would have liked it to be for class either. Fortunately, my class was cancelled! I have never had a class cancelled so many times. This is the 4th time! (Not complaining) Now I can start completely over again. Eagles tickets cost $78.50! WTF?! First off, the venue is in the parking lot of Harvey's Tahoe (where I saw Alice Cooper and Ted Nugent) so it's not that big. Second off, they're just the Eagles! Not Paul McCartney or the Rolling Stones ($50) not 2 bands (Kiss & Aerosmith, $50), and not a Led Zeppelin reunion! OK, so what do I have to do? Completely redo this drawing (4/?) Read the history chapter on the Cold War (4/13) Finish that painting with the tiki and the palm tree (4/12) Draw the drawings for that stupid project (sometime soon) Write my Twilight Zone paper (rough draft 4/21) Radio Newscast (4/12 I have studio time to work on it for an hour which means it must be written tonight) Basic Underwriting Commercial (4/14) And then, on top of all that... Work on internship shit. Figure out summer. So I guess that's my week. On Friday night I go to PBS. I can get through this... Current Mood:   Relieved, stressed, and tired
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| 13 Comments |
| Just when things start to be better.... |
| 04.09.05 (3:51 pm) [edit] |
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I guess I was too happy or something... I was feeling good about my CDs. I went and worked at the Earthquakes game at Spartan Stadium selling draft microbrews, which was more fun than I thought it would be. The fratority goes to Spartan shops, sign up as a group to work, and the money that would be paid to us for working there goes to the organization. Learning to serve beer in Disney World was a huge help. It really is an aquired skill. My partner, also from TDP, could not master this skill during the course of the shift. So she was glad to have me. There were these 3 guys that came back three or four times. They were so nice to us. They wanted to tip us. See? Too happy. Things are going too well. Don't worry, the powers that be will take care of that! And then, as I was going to the bathroom at the stadium, and pulling up my pants, my cell phone fell out of my pocket, into the toilet, and has now refused work properly, or not at all. Since this happened, I have not been able to get service, among other things. So, I decide to call my parents on the payphone that's downstairs. However, in somebody's infinite wisdom, every fucking payphone has been removed from campus! There used to be two downstairs in all the brick dorms, one at each west entrance to my dorm, and one out by the swimming pool. So now I have to go to the payphone by 7-11, where I call home, my dad answers the phone, hears a recording from Verizon, fails to hear the part where I say my name, and does not do anything to accept my first two calls. I leave a frustrated message on my mom's voicemail. And then finally my mom picks up the phone and gets the call that I have now put on my credit card since nothing else is getting through to them (and by this time I have figured ou they are home), I hear my dad in the background complaining about the recording and saying, "I don't know what the hell it is!" Following that with the expensive costs of collect calls. Which means now I am arguing with my dad through my mom, getting pissed off, she finally passes the phone to him so I can yell at him. So, yeah. Now I have no phone. May not for awhile, especially if nothing can be done about mine. I'm supposed to get my dad's old phone. Perhaps it's just as well I didn't. I've been trying to talk to my dad about what I am doing this summer. He thinks he is going to make them offer upper division GE at Sac State. Unfortunately, all of their biology and geology classes require prequesites; because why would anyone take an upper division geology or anthropology class if it wasn't in their major? That's just silly! grrr... Current Mood:  pissed
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| 0 Comments |
| Finally, some good stuff... |
| 04.08.05 (5:08 pm) [edit] |
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Well, the bad news first: After sort of figuring out how I wanted to do this very short story about a government conspiracy, I presented it to the group. I can't really describe the story; it's a little bit 1984...Monsters are Due on Maple Street...The Lottery...and maybe just a little bit of art immitating life... It's not a brilliant story. It mostly comes from the Twilight Zones, with a surprise ending being that one of the neighbors was the government agent that started the "verbal stone throwing" to keep current parties in power. And it's a story that never ends. The agent(s) are just going to move into another neighborhood and do the same thing next time. But upon researching the show and finding out that a lot of them are based on other short stories too, I don't feel so bad (it's kinda like that South Park episode, "Simpsons Already Did It.") Along with a pinched-lips, wrinkled-brow stares were statements like, "Can you sum it up in one or two sentences?" "You want how many characters to be in it?" (I'm going to be drawing the whole thing, what do they care? other than voices) "So, how does it end?" "It doesn't have a happy ending..." "that sounds longer than [the minimum] 5 minutes" and finally, "It's good, but it seems really complicated." Instead, we are doing the "story" that another guy in the group wrote for another class. Which is an incredibly cheesy story where first off, a woman is being constantly controlled by men. Her two kidnappers are men, and her rescuers are men. I feel like the villian should have a black cape and handlebar mustache and tie her to a railroad track. But for some reason they are in a wharehouse with "a single swinging light bulb" (which I guess means the whole thing takes place during an earthquake). The dialogue is crap. Evidentally, it is already recorded and "they" did "great job" with it (which i think by the nature of this is impossible). This is unfortunate because I see great potential to make fun of the script which is intentionally over-the-top but seems to take itself too seriously. So, we're pretty much doing something because it is the minimal amount of work we can do. (They can do, I should say, I still have to draw the crappy nonsense). I think the damsel in distress should wear a t-shirt that says something about the Angry Face of Feminism as a bit of irony... So, enough of that. The good news is that this morning as I was obsessing about how much I sucked and how my portfolio was probably somehow all wrong, and I was probably the worst person in the class, and other negativities. We started drawing (I love muscular models!). The teacher went around quickly perusing the room. He came up behind me and said, "You've been practicing, haven't you? It shows." :D And even beyond that, my mom called me and said that the Reno Hilton, who claimed that they never found my CDs when I called them, had them! Yay! So my CDs are back and safe! :D And now I've got to figure out what I am doing this summer. Intership at a TV Station or a Radio Station? Sacramento or San Jose? Sometimes I wish I were still in elementary school. Not thinking about resumes and competing against others for jobs that I will never have in the future (because that would imply that I might be done someday). Current Mood:  contentWhat's on: Simpsons - Bart the Daredevil |
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| I hate my college!!!! |
| 04.05.05 (2:34 pm) [edit] |
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It looks as though my so well-thought out plans to do my "upper division" GE during the summer at CSU Sacramento are going to not work out. I say this because today I found out that my lovely little campus is the only one to have a concept such as upper division GE, which means that unless I am going to take 21 units in the last two RTVF semesters, I'm not graduating in Spring 06. Dammit, dad! Call back! Be that resource you claim that you are!! Even if it's just to hear me vent! Upper division GE should be an oxymoron; incidentally, this is a "new" special thing they have added in the last 25 years since my dad didn't have to do it. Again, I have that hopeless feeling that I am never getting out of here. Well, I could do them here this summer...which would mean not being home, not even feeling like I was on any kind of break, and also completely rethinking where I am going to do an internship this summer! Why is there no light at the end of the tunnel? Oh, that's right. Because there is no light at the bottom of the hole you keep digging yourself into deeper and deeper never finding the end. Just more dirt... I need to scream or cry. I wish I didn't have lower division GE shit to do otherwise I would go work out. I may do that anyway. Fuck this shit. Fuck this place. I hate everything. I want out. I want to blow this place up. Hold some people at gunpoint. Current Mood:  angry and a bit violent
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| How the week is shaping up |
| 04.05.05 (8:46 am) [edit] |
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Dammit. Why can't I still be on Spring Break not worrying about much of anything including whether or not this sore throat is going to turn in to a cold anytime soon (they usually do), my teacher's reaction to me not working on my painting at all over spring break (I would have if I could have, however oil paintings on large stretched canvases don't really travel too well), or whether or not I will ever be reunited with my CDs. What funnities do I get to look forward to this week? Bake sale tomorrow (again, for some reason) A project ready to begin Finish my painting (which will be a challenge) I'm doing something on Saturday for the fratority Final resume and thesis statement for my writing project Second portfolio due Oy. I think I need to call Sac State about summer school so that I can get at least one degree done without having to take 21 units a semester (just the usual 18). I'm trying to figure out a story in which the government makes itself look like it's doing a job of taking care of some problem but it does so by sending people to neighborhoods just like ordinary citizens but it raises suspicions of the people in the local area against people until they somehow all believe that someone is somehow wrong thus the government has taken care of a problem that never existed to begin with but made one up so that it can stay in power. It's an absurd and improbable notion, I know... Current Mood: i don't feel like finding it... |
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| My shitacular day |
| 04.04.05 (9:37 pm) [edit] |
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Well, I was going to eventually post about my lovely trip to Kentucky. But right this second, I am still upset about my day today. First, a little exposition. Needed some shit for art class this afternoon. Decided I could go to the University Art in Sacramento (because it's a chain and ought to be just like the one in San Jose). For some reason I got it into my head that they closed on Sunday at 4:30. When my dad and I got there, they closed at 4. Because my 9:00 class was cancelled, I opted to stay home in Sacramento last night and start home at 9:00 in the morning to be back with plenty of time before my 12:30 class. So this morning I'm packing, and I realize that my case of approx 64 professionally made CDs that I know was in my suitcase at some point on the trek home. And I have no idea where they could be between Kentucky and Granite Bay with stops at Nashville, Oakland, and Reno. So now I'm worried about all of my CDs. On the way to my second attempt at the art store, I call first most seemingly logical place they could be other than my house, which is the Reno Hilton. They go, and search the room. They don't find the case, but they say they find a cell phone charger. When I got to the art store, I managed to lock both my keys and cell phone in my car. So first I've got to feed the meter. Then I go to the nearest payphone (which fortunately is just across the street), find out that on my phone card (which for some reason from that one takes 30 minutes just for being at a pay phone) doesn't have enough time on it. So I make a collect call to my mother and start crying. After she tries to calm me down, she says she'll come down to bring some change for the meter. I call AAA, and they say someone will be there in a 1/2 hr. I go into the art store, who claim that what I want does not exist. But at least I got some charcoal. Neither my mom or the locksmith have come yet, so I go across the street to Starbucks and buy myself the biggest frappuccino I've ever had. While sitting outside with my Starbucks waiting for either my mom or the guy, I get very cold (in addition to having to put another quarter in the meter every 15 minutes). My mom came and let me sit in her car. The guy came in 45 minutes vs. 30 and got me into the car. So now I am about an hour behind schedule. Somehow, trying to get out of downtown Sac, after traveling about 20 blocks, I end up near Old Sac and on a road that has no possibility of a U-turn illegal or otherwise. So I get back to where I was, start following signs to I-5, and somehow end up on green 80 and Hwy 55 going towards Reno. I called my mom to tell her I was lost. She helped some. To fix this issue, required driving back through downtown, practically retracing the steps I had originally from the store. I didn't hang up with her until I was back on 5. Fortunately the rest of the drive home was not trafficky, not even in the usual spots. I think my average speed driving back was about 80 miles an hour. I came back here at about 1:00, picked up some books for the class, went to Roberts to at least get some paper (I figured if I was going to be grossly late, I should at least be somewhat prepared for class). I got into class at 1:30. Class consisted mostly of a demo and getting pictures approved. I apologized to the teacher for being late, he said he didn't even notice (I confess for nothing!). I did get to see Kelly today. That was good. I came back into my room and drank that 24 ozer; I knew there was a reason I was holding off on consuming that. I've been so tired today between the combination of the drive and the stress, I didn't even feel slightly buzzed. In hindsight, I'm not sure that the cell phone charger they found in the room is one of ours because I think we have all of them. The location of my CDs still remains a mystery. I can't imagine where they could be! I put them in my suitcase to conserve room in my personal carry-on, and I don't know if I took them out at some point like in Reno or where to make room in my suitcase; I don't remember it. How do these important pieces of information disappear from our brains as if they didn't happen? mmmmnnnnnnhh....it's time for bed. I hate daylight savings time. Kelly had an interesting point. What fuckhead decided to take an hour of sleep away from kids the day after spring break?! Oh, and my throat has been hurting all day, even before I have had bouts of screaming, shouting every possible cussword ever, and making noises I forgot I could make that sound like the possessed child in The Exorcist. Current Mood:   tired, nervous (about the CDs), coldWhat's on: Everybody Loves Raymond - Six Feet Under |
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Something else will go here soon KSJS Radio Promotion
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