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| Lack of Motivation |
| 11.30.05 (8:56 am) [edit] |
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I really don't feel like doing much of anything anymore. This damn holiday screwed me up in many ways. You can't have a holiday this close to the end of the semester. In addition, after failing three times at animating for my movie, it's hard to get in there and want to do it again. But I have to. I must make myself. I am slowly getting more hours at Macy's. Why would anyone want to use their debit card like a credit card? That's why there are two separate cards! Nobody ever asked me such a stupid thing in Disney World. I am hungry all the time. I want to go to San Francisco, a couple of times, for drawing field trips. Current Mood:   hungry and blah
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| 0 Comments |
| Movie Issues |
| 11.28.05 (4:40 pm) [edit] |
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Par tof the problem with doing this movie project is I have thought, "If I do this, it will create this effect." But you don't think about all the stuff that can go wrong when you do something, which is why there has to be reshoots. The latest of these is the new tripod I bought. It's shortest height is just Sven's size. So I have been using it on my latest re-animations. But because it can get so short with legs that retract like antennas, it is really flimsy, meaning that my movies, when I uploaded them they look like they were made during an earthquake. Than means there is nothing that I have reshot that I can use. Which means I also have to probably buy another tripod... :roll: Current Mood:  PissedWhat's on: Simpsons - Sleeping with the Enemy |
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| If you like Amish Paradise... |
| 11.27.05 (2:42 pm) [edit] |
If you  So if you love heathen music with lyrics about going to hell for listening to it, this band is for you! hmmm...yeah... Discoverd a lot of interesting stuff looking for off-beat Christmas music. That website doesn't have Madonna's Santa Baby either; she sounds like Betty Boop. But Brian Setzer and Barenaked Ladies have some fun and funny music. My tree is all decorated! Now I have to put the boxes away so that I can paint. This week is all about my movie. |
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| Random thoughts |
| 11.26.05 (1:50 pm) [edit] |
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I need to lose weight. My mother brought me the old Christmas tree from the loft, a 3'X3' box of my ornaments, and no hooks or star. Last night was hell. I didn't know what I was doing and I felt like people were getting really impatient with me because of it. They should teach a course just on getting magnetic tags off clothes. I am talking to Kelly. Andrea made me open an account at LiveJournal. It's called, "My real blog is at fatbottmdgirl.tblog.com" The hardest scenes to write in my movie are the ones that aren't true to life. The only way certain people will ever see the movie is if it actually gets made into a movie (ie "Megan" and "Karen"). I had a rotten artichoke. The mp3 site I download from doesn't have any of the Holiday songs I want: Xerox Christmas Letter by Ray Stevens, We Need a Little Christmas by the Muppets, or The Redneck 12 Days of Christmas by Jeff Foxworthy or any of the Hanukkah Songs by Adam Sandler. I am going to be screwed on my movie. I should have posted this image with my "Buy Nothing Day" tribute.  Yay, Rejected Jeremy needs to put some pants on. I think I'll get Mike a Homestar shirt for Christmas...or a Strong Bad...no, Mike is more of a Homestar Runner than a Strong Bad. I hate it when Jeremy eats my hair. I need to work on my painting. How can I still be hungry? I want to go to San Francisco and draw Pagodas in perspective at Golden Gate Park. Yeesh! Homestar Runner shipping is 'spensive! I think that's it for now. Current Mood:  None, reallyWhat's on: Dirty Laundry - Don Henley |
| 2 Comments |
| Happy Buy Nothing Day! |
| 11.25.05 (1:12 pm) [edit] |
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Happy Buy Nothing Day, everybody!! That's right, kids! Today has been renamed from "Black Friday" to "Buy Nothing Day" in honor of the gross consumerism that ensues simply because stores culturally say, "On your marks, get set go!" And dumbshits actually do it...at 5, and 6 in the morning they do it! Buy Nothing Day, started by Ad Busters an organization promoting awareness of America's own cycle of consumerism, whose commercials no station will air, especially when they compare America to a big fat pig consuming 90% of the world's resources, and creating more waste than any of them, makes a lot of sense. 1. It's only one day out of the year. Why would one even want to run out shopping on the busiest day of the year? 2. Does anyone (besides my brother) really have any clue about what they want for Christmas yet? I sure as hell don't. 3. It's a lot of people who work in non-retail non-food service, non-entertainment jobs don't have the day off. Isn't it better to spend time with your family/loved ones :lol: (I laugh because people don't think this way). This gets back to earlier questions I've raised about, why, if stores are decorated before Halloween, do they pretend that they only want us to start thinking about Christmas today? :roll: Well, both I, and my loved one have to work tonight. For some stupid reason, Macy's is A. Starting me off on :roll: So if you haven't already shopped on this stupid day invented by stores, don't. Go tomorrow...go the next day...go Christmas Eve... Current Mood:  none
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| Hi, I'm a Moron |
| 11.23.05 (8:45 am) [edit] |
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There is nothing better than explaining to strangers with recorders why I am a moron... Current Mood::oops: embarrassed |
| 1 Comments |
| Parrot Dream |
| 11.20.05 (3:25 pm) [edit] |
 Two nights ago, I dreamed of being in a room like "rainforest" of the San Francisco zoo, and there was a gorgeous parrot.  It was similar to this badly Photoshopped Image; mostly purple where it was usually red but with traces of red where it went to the next color, and yellow-green instead of yellow. It was floating on it's back in the water, but it explainedd to me it could not swim, because it did not have webbed feet, so it continued to float. I thought how amazing the bird was; the colors, and the fact that it could float and how I wanted to do something creative with it like write it into a story. I wonder if this has anything to do with that color class I'm taking... Current Mood:  hmmm...Does anyone know of an inexpensive silk screening place in San Jose? I want to do something now, but homework is not really what I have in mind. How can I be so tired when I've barely done anything today? It looks as though plans are going ahead with a Disneyland trip to head down the day after New Years and start going on the 3rd. I just hope I can make it...:? |
| 2 Comments |
| Something I've Never Done Before |
| 11.18.05 (7:54 pm) [edit] |
 So Kelly had today off for some reason and wanted me to divert her. So after sitting around for an hour deciding what we didn't want to do, I suggested something I've kinda thought about but never done in my 18 years as a San Jose resident and thought it would be an interesting way to pass the time; drive up to the Lick Observatory on top of Mt. Hamilton. Kelly, being here 22 years, had never done it either and had sorta thought about it just for the helluvit. I didn't realize when I pulled up the map just how windy, narrow and scary the road was. I also never realized just how long Quimby road is. I also never realized that Mount Hamilton isn't just right there overlooking Silicon Valley. (What was the valley itself called before it was Silicon Valley?). There is actually one hill to get over that constitutes most of Quimby road. Then once you do that, you're back in a valley higher than San Jose, and then you can get up to Mount Hamilton. We just missed the sunset from the top of the hill. But we got to see the lights of San Jose. It was pretty cool. We also got to see deer and a wild pig. He was freakin' huge! It was kinda scary, but fun. |
| 1 Comments |
| Cheerleader Commercial |
| 11.17.05 (5:58 pm) [edit] |
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The cheerleader commercial came on at exactly the same time it did last week! But this time, I was ready! w00t! |
| 4 Comments |
| this entry has no subject |
| 11.17.05 (4:07 pm) [edit] |
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Well, let's see... Last night I went to school to animate for Sven's Adventure. After restarting twice, bagging about a second-and-a-half (45 pictures/poses for those of you playing the home game), may batteries died meaning I have to start all over again...:x I am trying to motivate myself to go all the way downtown, withdraw money, and draw naked people. If it wasn't so far away, or if the last two times I showed up they hadn't cancelled, or if I wasn't so tired. I'll stay here and draw. Maybe I'll work on a piece just for myself! Or maybe I'll work on my screenplay some more. The teacher said that the screenplays of everyone who's been showing up regularly in our section is really good. Screenplay writing is so much better than essay writing because if you know your characters well, they are easy to write. And when writing dialogue, you can get away with writing in fragments, slang and swearing. If there are so many good genuine screenplays out there, why does Hollywood need to remake crap incessantly? Unoriginalities to look forward to just next year (according to IMDB) include: Poseidon [Adventure], Superman, Halloween, Incredible Shrinking Man, Mrs. Doubtfire 2, Die Hard 4.0,Shaggy Dog, The Fast and the Furious, Miami Vice, Mortal Combat, Ice Age 2, I Dream of Jeanie (with Jimmy Fallon, *gag!*), James Bond, Rambo IV, Rocky Balboa (somebody finally decided to give Sylvester Stallone some work, too bad it's for his most famous roles :lol: ), The Fly, Revenge of the Nerds, Jurassic Park 4, Mission Impossible 3, Pirates of the Caribbean, Dallas, Big Momma's House 2, Sin City 2, andI Know What You Did Last Summer (which summer was that again?). And how many of those were based on something else even before they were sequels or remakes (ie Pirates, Superman, Mortal Combat)? I have this image of trying to sell my screenplay, Disney buying it, and being just like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark it goes into a wooden crate with "Top Scret" painted it, and then a forklift puts it onto a high shelf in a warehouse with with a bunch of other boxes just like it. :lol: Remaking of movies, and decorating too early for Christmas, two big pet peeves of mine. Speaking of the later... I saw a Christmas tree in a house yesterday! Seriously, WTF?! Conversation overheard while walking through Paseo de San Antonio, which has been decorated since Halloween weekend, a carless path leading from SJSU to Caesar Chavez where Christmas in the Park is (again, for those of you playing the home game): Little Boy: Look! These things shoot snow out Man: Yeah, cool. Smart Little Girl: But it's supposed be Thanksgiving. Man: I know! I felt like shouting, "Thank you!" to her. Sat through a 5+ hour training module today to learn how to use the cash registers. I start on Black Friday. As of right now, I don't have to work on my fratority formal. I'm going to get a paddle from my little! :D Which reminds me, I've got to get on getting his t-shirt made. I can't believe Thanksgiving is a week from today! Where did this semester go?! Definetely not motivated to go to downtown right now. Tomorrow, I guess I'll animate. Current Mood: OK
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| Thinking too much again |
| 11.14.05 (3:19 pm) [edit] |
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I am too worrysome and neurotic to be thinking about this shit... This is the first semester at college where I haven't felt considerably more positive leaving counseling than going in. And my last session is next Wednesday. Shit. What will I do then? |
| 3 Comments |
| Car Accident |
| 11.13.05 (11:43 am) [edit] |
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Well, in trying to get out of the Oakridge parking lot, I hit a car, cried for a half hour, and I feel like shit. I hate myself. My parents are cover crap like this now. But I feel really bad about it. Like, all of a sudden (at the beginning of the semester) I cost twice as much as I used to. Shit. Current Mood:  shitty
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| 1 Comments |
| Male PMS |
| 11.12.05 (4:18 pm) [edit] |
| I think all the boys were on the same cycle today. |
| 2 Comments |
| Holiday Shopping Contradiction |
| 11.11.05 (8:41 pm) [edit] |
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Anyone who knows me knows that Christmas decoration before Thanksgiving is a pet peeve of mine, partly because that way by the time it actually gets here we\'re good and sick of it, but reguardless... This occured to me today as I was perusing the mall, already playing holiday music, and kids lined up to Saninty. (I remember when I used to believe in Sanity...good times...). Anyway, Macy\'s, the place at which I filled out online-paperwork at on Wednesday, was fully decorated for Christmas the week before Halloween. So shopping establishments are already attempting to get people worked up into a spending frenzy. Yet, the retail industry has decided to indoctrinate us with the notion that the day after Thanksgiving is the day that the holiday shopping season starts and that then we work ourselves into a spending frenzy. If stores are trying to get us into the mindset of Christmas shopping on or before November 1st, why don\'t they just have the big shopping day on November 1st, skip the day-afer-Thanksgiving blitz, OR wait until the-day-after-Thanksgivin g to get people in the mood. The former is more likely to happen, because we need to get people to spend as much as possible. However, the contradiction is more likely to persist. It must suck to not celebrate Christmas at this time of year. There is little you can do to escape the fact that if you do not celebrate the holiday you are somehow outside of the dominant culture instated by ruling classes who try to work people into that spending frenzy. hmmm... These stupid little things at the bottom of the posting need to be clearer about whether they are lowercase l's or uppercase I's |
| 1 Comments |
| Today |
| 11.10.05 (6:39 pm) [edit] |
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Today was sketchbook day at the zoo. I only say that because I saw more people drawing today than I ever have (which isn't saying much, because I've only ever seen one). Zoo was empty compared to all the summer Fridays I was there. I feel like I can draw giraffes better than naked women. It's probably not true; I suck equally at everything. There is no such a thing with an artist as, "I can draw dogs, but not trees" or something. Maybe I just love drawing giraffes better than anything else. I don't know why. Or maybe I don't feel so frustrated when I draw them. I signed up for classes this morning! It wouldn't let me enroll in one I want. It doesn't matter, because I am gauranteed a spot in that class. But it's still frustrating. I wonder if it has anything to do with me changing my major. ki·ne·si·ol·o·gy Pronunciation: k&-"nE-sE-'ä-l&-jE, kI-, -zE- Function: noun Etymology: Greek kinEsis : the study of the principles of mechanics and anatomy in relation to human movement That sounds like a class animators should take. There is a point to that. As of last semester PE classes changed from being listed as Human Performance (HUP) to Kinesiology. I raise the obvious question at this point, Why? Or better yet, why not call it PE so everyone will know what they hell it is they are saying?! Maybe it makes PE Majors sound important: "I'm taking a meterology class: Advanced Climatology!" (Oooh!) "I'm taking an anthropology class: ethnographic methods!" (Aaah!) "Oh, yeah?! Well I'm taking a kinesiology class: intermediate bowling!" (Huh?) For extra credit I can turn in an ad I find offensive. And I inadvertently found one. It probably would have offended me more when I was a teenager. So, if anyone just happens to record the T-Mobile commercial with teenage cheerleader blabbering on and on about stupid stuff thereby negatively stereotyping teenage girls and they get it to me by next Tuesday...I will be very grateful. Current Mood: mehWhat's on: Some UPN crap while I wait for the T-Mobile commercial to come back on |
| 3 Comments |
| My busy day |
| 11.08.05 (11:54 am) [edit] |
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My composer was late, but I still managed to make it to my group interview on time. It was not like any one I had been to; a bunch of us sat around at a table and we were split into pairs and asked to answer situational questions. "You know how you go to an interview, and they never call you back, and you wonder what's going on, should I follow up? Did I get the job?" This is what the person conducting the meeting said. Then she said, "Give me a few minutes. I'll go back, look at what openings we have, look at your schedules, and see what I can do." So then I interviewed with a manager. She said, "Are you OK with working in lingerie?" I said yes. I have to sign paperwork tomorrow morning, orientation next Monday, and computer training on Thursday! Whoo hoo! I have a job! Then I found Jeremy, I changed in my car, we took Light Rail to downtown and walked from the Children's Discovery Museum to the Arena. (Have I ranted about corporate sponsorship of venues and what bullshit is? They're all owned by Clear Chanel anyway...also bullshit, but anyway...) Saw the show, it was pretty cool. I enjoyed myself. He performed on a wave of TVs (I'm not exactly sure how to describe it). I want a wave of TVs for my house. Then after much debating, we decided to go to Mission Ale House. I knew that Light Rails ran until nearly 2 in the morning. What I didn't know is that after 12:45, the next Light Rail came at 1:45. Upon discovering this, we went into San Jose Bar and Grill to kill the time. Then the damn Light Rail finally did come and we got off at Chynoweth. (Of course the transfer trains stop going at 11 or so). Both of us had to pee really bad. So after squatting in the bushes (well, me anyway) we walked through the apartment complexes there by the station, and came to a iron fence that was slick because it had been raining. So not only could I not lift myself over this damn fence, I couldn't get any traction on the wall. Jeremy, the bastard, hust lifted himself right over it. Then he found a gate as I was going to find my way around the complex and wait for him to drive me back to my car. Then we walked to our cars, which were not hard to find in the parking lot, and drove home. It was nearly 3 when we got back. This morning I got up, printed my the first 20 pages of my screenplay, and drove to school. He let us go early, so I went, bought some paper, and slept until almost 2. I should have gotten my painting shit when I was at school. Current Mood: a little blah
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| Paul McCartney Tonight |
| 11.07.05 (7:07 am) [edit] |
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I don't want to do anything anymore. I'm so tired! Today is a busy, busy day. First, I have to get some cash to pay for parking. Then I have to transfer my movie onto a memory stick. Then I have to go to my painting class at noon:30. Then I have to give the movie to my composer at 3:30. Then I have to go to my interview at Macy's at 4:30. Then at 6, I somehow have to change, and get on the Light Rail with Jeremy to see Freakin' Paul McCartney! After which, we will have drinks at a downtown bar. And by tomorrow morning, I have to have Act 1 of my screenplay finished, for which I have to buy paper. I'm not worried. I'm on page 19/17 but I'm still not done. Current Mood:  Will the stress never end?
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| Class Conversation |
| 11.04.05 (11:44 am) [edit] |
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In my head, I planned to not say it exactly this way, but this is how it came out anyway: Me: I think I'm losing my drawing abilities. Teacher: You never had any to begin with. Heh. OK... can I kill myself now? Do you ever feel like everyone in your life has lied to you? |
| 1 Comments |
| Finally, some good news |
| 11.03.05 (8:22 am) [edit] |
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Counseling was such a relief yesterday. I probably should have gone the week before after my mom tried to subdue me again. That is, tried to tell me for whatever reason I won't be able to make it on my own so I might crawl back and stay in her power, or maybe in her view. All my life she's tried to undermine me that way. When my dad came to pick me up from school last night, he asked, "What's new?" or "How are you?" or something. And I told him...for 10 minutes I told him about the incessant negativity that has surrounded me lately. My counselor thinks after the time I've been having lately I need a trip to Disneyland to look forward to. I wonder if that would make a good case for going... This is the first morning I have waken up more-or-less refreshed. I think Jeremy gave me his cold. Even if we had only had minimal phyical contact, with my stressed state, I probably would have gotten it anyway. Anyway, the good news is: The psychology class I took through Sierra College during High School transferred successfully and will substitute the psych class at SJSU, so I don't have to worry about that GE or retaking it. The other good news is, as of 10/24/05 my class status is Graduating Senior. This is very good to hear, means I'll get my first crack at classes which is nice. Interestingly, I turned in the paperwork right before the July 1st deadline. Which means it has taken about 4 months to process...go figure. One nice thing about being a perpetual pessimist is when things do go right, you are pleasantly surprised. I reapplied to SJSU this morning. We'll see how that goes. That would be really sad if I was rejected... I am going home this weekend. It's been so long. I just want to relax and not think about anything, but I probably will. One of these days I want to go to San Francisco... Current Mood:  somewhat relaxed for a change
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| TGTCT |
| 11.02.05 (8:20 am) [edit] |
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Thank God There's Counseling Today. So much stress... So tired... |
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| Disney World Dream |
| 11.01.05 (11:36 am) [edit] |
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I dreamt last night that I was considering going back to Disney World. hmmm... I have a few theories about this. One of them relates to my fear about Fall 2006 and continuing my education. For the first time in awhile I thought about reapplying. But because of my unique situation, I don't know how to reapply to SJSU. That is, I'm not a transfer, I'm not a first-time freshman, and I wouldn't be a grad student. So how do I do it? So, what if I miss the deadline? I could do open U. Or I could go to Disney World on the College Program again, make some money, not worry, draw a lot, come back and start school. Sounds like a good plan. But I would only really want to do it again if I could be a ride operator, and if Jeremy could be there. You are elligible if you are enrolled in college when you apply. So Jeremy couldn't be a CP, which means the apartment Nazis would force him to leaveat 1am, which means we couldn't be together the way we are now. It's probably not going to happen. Hopefully, I'll get registered at SJSU, won't have to worry, and all will be right with the world. Oh, good, not only did the D key fall off my computer, the space bar starting to not work, but now my A key is being stubborn... I want to sleep and go to free movies one of these days... Current Mood:  tired
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Something else will go here soon KSJS Radio Promotion
5 KSJS Drops