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| this entry has no subject |
| 12.31.05 (7:47 pm) [edit] |
I feel like the lady in this comic a lot especially lately, as I'm sure I make Jeremy feel like the guy; pissed off but not necessarily at the person in the comic. I don't know what to do. I feel like I should do something. I painted at the minature golf course until the sun blinded me. The sidewalk I painted is too dark. I got called into work for tomorrow so that's good. It means I won't get on the road home until 5:00, but I'm really in no hurry. I figured by the way my mom specifically called Jeremy, and not me to him she's not interested in speaking to me either. I am so going to talk about this at Susie's tonight, because they all know what a bitch my mom is. I found out that I've probably been fucking up my chances of working at Jeremy's theater, if you apply within 90 days from the time you applied the first time, the computer erases both entries. I love those computer kiosk things. I fuck up once and it screws me for life. God, stuff sucks! Coversation Hearts don't judge me. Current Mood:  blahWhat's on: Good Times Bad Times - Led Zeppelin |
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| Rain Rain Go Away |
| 12.31.05 (11:50 am) [edit] |
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Really wanted to paint outside today. But the weather doesn't want me to seeing as how all day it's rain, rain, rain, rain, and showers with a 100% chance of percipitation. :? Mike must be going apeshit, damn ombrophobe. Not that I want it It looks like partly cloudy (as opposed to partly sunny) skies and 70 degrees for the whole time we're supposed to be in Disneyland. I decided to go to Susie's for New Year's tonight instead of my neighbor's in Granite Bay because I won't be seeing Jeremy for awhile, and it will be less boring there. That and I dread going home and having to face that woman. I've never had so much disdain for her in my life. And according to my dad, who went to great lengths to explain both sides of our situation last night, she has no idea why I would have completely gone over the edge the way I did. Meanwhile she just called Jeremy and was supposedly as sweet as could be to him. People always tend to be nicer to the ones who aren't theirs. Last night in an attempt to make myself feel better about myself, (yes, I know this sounds extremely convoluted, consumerist, false something-or-another but) I went to Macy's, asked them what kind of lipstick I should wear, turned around and attempted to buy something similar for probably half the price at Walgreens and got eye shadow too that I now must discipline myself to actually wear and look nice once in awhile. But I still can't decide on a perfume. They all start to smell the same after awhile. And you spray them on the little paper and they smell alcoholly and you really can't make up your mind then. Plus they are expensive. And I smell the ones at Hot Topic and I can't make up my mind if I really like it, or if I only like it because it has a picture of Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas on it. I wonder about celebrity-named perfumes...and clothes for that matter. There is a lot of JLO stuff at Macy's. Does she sit around designing all those panties? I doubt it. And does she, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Elizabeth Taylor sit around in labcoats coming up with the perfect combination of fragrances and then spray it on rabbits to see if it kills them? I doubt that too. Current Mood:    hungry, sad about rain, and in need of a shower (except I think Jeremy took all the hot water)I love these keys at the bottom that we have type in now, the ones with the random letters. I say I love them because they had to put them in an Arial font. Which means that a lower case l and an upper case I look exactly the same and most of the time I guess wrong. Plus now for some reason, they add a next to all the " and ' which is extra fun with long entries and html. |
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| Wonderland Golf |
| 12.30.05 (5:48 pm) [edit] |
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I think in addition to all the projects I want to do, Lady or the Tiger set sort of in Mughal India, another reverse drawing (Project from Hell but less hellacious hopefully), "landscape" studies, turning the self-portrait I did last year into a painting, storyboarding a movie I've never seen before (I'm thinking Brazil), finish the screenplay that has nothing to do with Disney World (I've never even heard of Disney World or their College Program), drapery studies, a semi-blind drawing of my room, stop-motion practice, perhaps with a figure reciting Trudy's monologue from the opening of Search for Intelligent Life and skull studies... I thought of something else that would be fun. I went to the minature golf course last night to draw. I've always thought it would be fun to design a mini-golf course. How about one based on the Alice books? One side can be based on Wonderland and the other Thru the Looking Glass with putters shapped like flamingos (not practical, but still a good idea). Current Mood: kinda hungry
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| Money Issues again |
| 12.28.05 (5:08 pm) [edit] |
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You think having a job and money will make you feel less stressed and more secure. Then you have to spend $50 on a new set of mail keys. Then you have to spend another $100+ on an unjust speeding ticket (probably). Then you have no job. Then you are no better off than you were before you had that little bit of money. |
| 2 Comments |
| Eight Beers |
| 12.28.05 (1:48 am) [edit] |
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Up to eight beers now! Current mood:  pretty damn buzzed...ok, drunk!
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| 'Manda's Mom is a Big Fat Bitch |
| 12.27.05 (11:26 pm) [edit] |
For some reason I started thinking about this song earlier...I have no idea why :lol: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE L MANDA'S MOM IS A BIG FAT BITCH , SHE'S THE BIGGEST BITCH IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD SHE'S A MEAN OLD BITCH IF THERE EVER WAS A BITCH, SHE'S A BITCH TO ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS ! ON MONDAY SHE'S A BITCH , ON TUESDAY SHE'S A BITCH , AND WEDNESDAY THROUGH SATURDAY SHE'S A BITCH THEN ON SUNDAY JUST TO BE DIFFERENT SHE'S A SUPER KING KAMAYA MAYA BEYOTCH ! HAVE YOU EVER MY FRIEND MANDA'S MOM SHE'S THE BIGGEST BITCH IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, SHE'S A MEAN OLD BITCH AND SHE HAS STUPID HAIR, SHE'S A BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BI-BI-BI-BI-BI- SHE'S A STUPID BITCH, MANDA'S MOM'S A BITCH AND SHE'S JUST A DIRTY BITCH ! MANDA'S MOM IS BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIICHAAAAAAAAAA ! |
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| Another speeding ticket... |
| 12.27.05 (4:26 pm) [edit] |
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I decided I wanted to go to San Francisco for a drawing field trip, and what better place to practice drawing pagodas in perspective than the Japanese tea garden? So we drive. Getting one speeding ticket makes one learn their lesson so I was all along checking my speed, and going with the flow of traffic. At this point it has started to rain. We get 22 miles away from San Francisco, and a cop pulls me over for going 85 miles per hour. I know I wasn't doing 85. I have been unfairly accused. But he did "give me a break" and say I was only going 75. So at that point I don't feel like going to San Francisco anymore. I drive us back to San Jose. I cry on the way home. I talk to my dad. He wants to lecture me about driving. I start crying again. Jeremy and I go to Rasputin Records on some gift cards. Then we go to an Italian place for lunch. After lunch my mom calls me and she is so my mother. Spoken very shortly, this is how the conversation started: "Where are you?" "Why did you go to San Francisco?" "Was it raining?" "How are you going to pay for this ticket?" And she proceeded to say that she didn't believe that I was going with the flow of traffic, that I probably was going 85 mph, my car was profiled because of the rock stickers and the fact that it's beat up (from where I was rear-ended), she will not support me, and I need to be more responsible. When I start yelling and getting so mad I am crying again, she tells me I need to be more mature and, "Won't talk to me when I'm like that" (I never wanted to talk to her to begin with). I give her to my whitness, Jeremy (who of course will be in Kentucky during my court date), she bitches at him for not being able to be there and how immature I am and how I need to act my age. God I hate my mom so much. Usually when I'm depressed, I go shopping. Earlier I thought, "Well, I did just have Christmas, so that's not necessary." Now I'm so pissed I just might. I hope the cop gets shot by someone else he wrongfully pulls over. I hope my mom wrongfully gets pulled over. Tonight, I am going to get very drunk. The only reason I'm not now is because I have to be at work in less than 3 hours. I am so glad Jeremy is here, and was there for that matter. I love him so much. I love Bonnie so much too. I wonder if the counselors are back yet or if I have to wait until after New Year's. Current Mood:   Depressed and Angry
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| this entry has no subject |
| 12.26.05 (5:09 pm) [edit] |
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I had a very nice Christmas which maybe I will talk more in detail about later. I want to nap. But I have to be at work by 7, which means I have to leave earlier than that, but because I don't remember how to return things without a receipt or a Macy's credit card, I have to go in earlier, and hope I can get on the training CD to practice. I never want to work in a major retail store like Macy's again. I am told they may call people back in when they start inventory. I'll probably be in either Disneyland or Sacramento if that happens. Current Mood:   tired and cold
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| 1 Comments |
| Frustrations |
| 12.24.05 (10:53 am) [edit] |
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Yesterday started off being frustrating. HAve I written about how I had to be inconvinienced for my bank's stupid mistake? No. On Friday I bought some temporary checks from my bank; 3 checks, $3. I go to school and put a check for my tuition in a drop box. The new girl at the bank put down that I gave them $300 instead of $3. This meant that the checks that I posessed were no good and I needed to get new ones and replace the one I wrote. On Monday, I get the new checks, give them the two I had yet to write, go to school and get the old check back, and write a new one. As I am driving to Granite Bay, the bank calls and says, "If you got the old check, you need to bring it in." (Which would have been handy information while I was standing there earlier that day). So I finally get back from Granite Bay, go to the bank, tell them, "You said I need to bring in this check" and they pass me off onto someone who's new to the temporary check game. After I explain to her my story, she sees that a check with the same number as the voided one I held in my hand (which unfortunately had franking on the back adding to the confusion). One might think if one were to replace checks they would allieviate confusion by giving them new numbers, but that's just me. She makes some phone calls, finds out the cashed check was the newer one and says I can destroy the old. This could have been done from Granite Bay and saved a lot of time, but that's just me, again. So that's over with. Finally got new mail keys that came with a $50 slap on the wrist. (Also frustrating). But there was good stuff in the mail; several Christmas cards, including one from Jeremy's mom with a check in it. A few months ago, I wrote to a bunch of stop-motion animators asking for advice. One of them wrote me back. He wrote a very detailed letter with lots of good advice, and sent an 11X17 poster, which he signed with the dog from Corpse Bride on it:  So that was fun. Another frustration: Yesterday morning when I turned on my kitchen light I also turned on my garbage disposal in which there was a spoon. After I turned of the disposal and dislodged the spoon, the garbage disposal no longer worked. Great. Frustration number...whatever I hate my mom sometimes, (nothing new to any of the frequent readers). First off, Jeremy is so hard to buy for, but I thought of something his mom said he would really like (obviously, I can't say it here). The other thing I wanted to get him the stupid place where they sell it decided not to order anything new before the holidy so I couldn't find it. Anyway, told my mom to get the one thing, she somehow got confused and thought I wanted it for a present for myself and when I was explaining it to her (again, it seems) she said, "Oh, is that all you're getting him? I thought you wanted to get him something more special." What a bitch! And there is something else I could say to that, but I can't because Jeremy reads this. Now, I'm second-guessing, knowing that if I didn't have any ideas before Christmas, I'm not at the last minute. And I hate her so much for saying that. It is so hot where I work. I feel like I'm panting, and people say, "Are you tired?" and I say, "No, just hot" to which they concur. Jeremy has off today. Lucky bastard. But at least I get to miss church. And at least it doesn't look like I close alone. The mall or somebody conviniently provided a short bus service throughout the holidays so employees don't have to drive around for hours on end looking for spots. Except the bus company decided that they would rather be home with their families or something on Christmas Eve, and is not running bus service on one of the days it will for sure be busy as all hell. Smaaaaart! It's Light Rail for me. Something is wrong with me. I used to sleep till 9, or 9:30; 10:00 was late for me. Now it's more like 11:30 is average. Current Mood:  none
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| Christmas and other stuff |
| 12.23.05 (10:35 am) [edit] |
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Well, I was going to post a bunch of cartoons showing how stupid whiners are about not even considering the politeness of saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" and a message from my Grandmother who thinks that no matter what others chose to celebrate you should force, "Merry Christmas" on everyone because somehow that is the ultimate expression of free speech. My position on Christmas is that it's over commercialized. I think its odd that it's culturally dictated that we work ourselves up into a comsumerist frenzy at this time of year. I pity anyone who daren't celebrate it because from Halloween to New Year's it gets shoved down your throat. I am tempted to believe that Hannukah, like most other holidays became popular to get the people that weren't celebrating Christmas out there spending too. And I'm also not entirely sure how we go from the Birth of Jesus (who only may have been born around 12/25) to a pine tree with lights all over it. It doesn't feel like Friday. In more personal news, I went home for a sort of weekend with Jeremy, baked cookies (again, not sure where in the Christmas story cookies come in) and relaxed. Also, I'm leaving for Disneyland on the 2nd and will start being there the 3rd! Current Mood:  excited about Disneyland
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| 2 Comments |
| Childhood Journal |
| 12.20.05 (9:55 am) [edit] |
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So, for some reason, a journal i used to write in when I was in second and third grade was in the bonus room (i am home now, btw). My mom started reading it and proceeded to make fun of my grammar, spelling and incoherent thoughts. You know, it must take a really (mentally) small person to make fun of the way someone wrote when they were young, especially if it was their own kid. Kinda reminds me of the website, I am Better Than Your Kids. She won't come in here and look at it...I'll e-mail it to her. It's amazing how little my thoughts on marriage had changed up until a few years ago. So, maybe it's just as well she doesn't know about this journal. I love how my Grandmother thinks just because we're related we have the same political beliefs. One would think if they bought a keyboard once that was shitty, they wouldn't go right back out and buy another keyboard that's the same brand! I <3 Frosted Animal Crackers> I hope we go to the Indian Casino for lunch...it's not looking likely Current Mood hungry
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| Am I sad? |
| 12.17.05 (7:57 pm) [edit] |
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Maybe this giving up the job is not such a bad thing. I'll still get to go to Disneyland. I learned I never want to work in a major department store again. A smaller retail store maybe, but not one where they suspiciously pimp out credit cards, have special cards and deal for some people on certain days of the week, and discounts, no. I went in there again today and had to face something new and not fun that even the manager couldn't deal with, but I still feel crappy because it seems like I'm always the one that gets the person whose gift card won't work, who needs their whole sale adjusted to save an extra $10, or to get a stupid split refund because they couldn't just pay for their whole bill with one form of payment. But now I get to go somewhere else and feel stupid and piss people off all over again. Great. At least I get to go to Disneyland... But I really really need the money. Got a new sketchbook today! Current Mood: blah
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| No more job |
| 12.17.05 (8:51 am) [edit] |
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Well, I am not scheduled for any time after the 29th. Of course. After all my frustration trying to learn their little system, pissing off customers with my ineptitude, i have no job. I was going to complain about my hours, but I guess I am in no position to do that. I should have known this would happen though. I haven't exactly made the best impression I guess. And of course now my grandmother and mother are giving me job hunting advice on my attitude and not limiting my hours, despite that my hours will be very limited in about a month. I couldn't even get a damn job when people were hiring! There's supposed to be a department meeting at 7:00am tomorrow. Now I am even wondering if its worth getting up for. Current Mood:  kinda depressed
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| Food |
| 12.16.05 (3:10 pm) [edit] |
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So, here's some brilliance: Up until yesterday evening, I hadn't had time to eat let alone go grocery shopping. I practically ran out of food. So, after having almost nothing for a week, I go grocery shopping last night. However, the last time I went shopping I bought stuff to actually attempt to cook something, so we'll have that in addition to all the food. Plus last night Jeremy brought home a garbage bag damn near full of popcorn. It looks like a beanbag chair! So now I have a lot of food. So if anyone wants popcorn, come 'n' get it. I took a couple bags to some homeless people today. Current Mood:  alright for a change.
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| The last all nighter |
| 12.14.05 (3:23 am) [edit] |
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I didn't intend for this evening to be an all-nighter. It just kinda happened. Just finishing up my prodduction notebook, one thing lead to another. And I found out the building I need to edit in opens at 6. So I planned to go in at 6, finish as completely as I can, given I'm still not crystal clear on green screens and my composer is also working the night away on my behalf. Hopefully, no one else will have the same idea, then I can come back here and sleep for a little while. Good plan, in theory. Holy shit! I can't wait until this damn semester is over! It went by so fast. Tomorrow, I have to turn in 50 pages of my screenplay. Then I can do all the things I've been wanting to do like go grocery shopping, not eat just bread and fast food if I don't want to, sleep, clean up, go home. In less than 36 hours from now, that will be a reality. I got a very disappointing grade in my easiest class, a B-. I am disappointed because we all had to grade each other on various components. So it's like, OK, what did...somebody think I should have done differently? Oh well. I'll probably still get an A in the class. I don't want to do the rest of my binder. That stuff sucks. I hope I'm doing this right. Second all-nighter this week. I think I'll work on something more fun. Has anyone else seen the rendering of what the South Park boys would look like if they were real? It's funny and slightly disturbing at the same time. Current Mood: I don't really know how I feel right now...
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| I hate life |
| 12.12.05 (7:00 am) [edit] |
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I hate life. Nothing can ever just go the way it should. I want to die. Please someone kill me. |
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| Painting |
| 12.11.05 (8:24 am) [edit] |
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My hope is to get the CD tower done before Duck Soup is over. Oh! And not only do I have to shoot some stuff today, but I am working an hour early than I thought I was! I hate feeling like I don't have any food...it's another one of those weeks where grocery shopping is a waste of time. It doesn't matter. I don't have time to eat. God, I hate closing! |
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| To Do |
| 12.10.05 (9:03 pm) [edit] |
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Painting: The painting I thought was due on Wednesday is due on Monday :? Good thing about the party. Too bad I have to work. It is currently kicking my butt. Screenwriting I have to write about 10-20 more pages of my screenplay. It's not hard to get that many. But I think I need to work backwards to get to figure out where I want to go. Movie: I have to get the rest of my shots that I need in Animate one last scene Edit it all Get a semi-done copy to the composer And there's a final on Tuesday night. Blarg! That doesn't seem like everything, but it must be. This is the first semester in awhile I've taken less than 18 units. I hate working cash register. I always feel stupid when I do it. I like attempting to help people find stuff. There's less pressure and it's more satisfying. Unfortunately, register people take credit for the sale. |
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| No party |
| 12.10.05 (11:58 am) [edit] |
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No party here tonight as there was threatening to be despite my protestations. Good. Get my work done in peace. Not have to worry about cleaning up instead of working. "You could paint in the bedroom." The fuck I'm going to hide away in my apartment to do more important things! I don't know what I was worried about; the surest way I know of to have a crappy party is for me to throw it! Seems like every time people are invited to my place with the intent of drink and merriment, it never works out like it should. Must be nice to have absolutely nothing better to do. I'll be reminded what that's like soon. Current Mood:  Relieved
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| Damn again |
| 12.05.05 (3:09 pm) [edit] |
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Once again, damn damn damnity damn DAMN! Why? Because again of the things that you don't think about that will not work because of the fact that the sun has to rise damn late and set so damn early which means to get what I need, which I absolutely must do tomorrow, I have to get up f'early because the Thanksgiving holiday truly fucked me over because I hurt my back somehow because now, instead of skipping my Wednesday class to work on this movie, the teacher put part of the final on that day, so now I can't miss it, which means I have to rely on Jeremy to do some things while I am in class! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! Make this damn semester be over already... Current Mood:  
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| Damn |
| 12.04.05 (3:05 pm) [edit] |
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Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn and... Damn! Current Mood: Dammit
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| Not doing anything!! |
| 12.04.05 (12:43 pm) [edit] |
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I don't know what the fuck is my problem?!?! I can't seem to get up before 11! I keep not doing what I need to! I need to get my ass out and animate, and if not paint!! But instead, I feel like I keep fucking around burning dayling. I am online doing traffic school and buying Aerosmith tickets! Current Mood:  agrivated with myself
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| Brave New World |
| 12.03.05 (9:07 pm) [edit] |
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Damn this Brave New World; I've got shit to do! What would a modern dystopia be? I was just about to write, "I'm tired, I think I'll go to bed," but now I'm going on a beer run... Dammit, it's gonna be f'old outside... Current Mood:
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| No cash in the future |
| 12.03.05 (9:41 am) [edit] |
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Does it bother anyone slightly that in the future there will be no cash? Think about it: You get paid in a check or you get direct deposit. You pay your bills the same way; either with a check, or online through your credit card, or some banks will automatically deduct the billing price. When you go to actually buy something in person (as opposed to online with credit cards also), you pay with some type of card; ATM, Credit, or Gift. (Remember gift certificates? Paper symbolizing money. Now you can buy gift cards at the grocery store). When you have to get cash, it's a big inconvinience. But what do you use to get it? A card. Even McDonald's and some vending machines are switching to card-friendly formats. I know that I am less likely to patronize a business that doesn't take charge. If cash is elliminated, what does that mean you work for? At least if you work for the cash it's something tangible you can hold and see. If money is elliminated, that means you work on faith; faith that the invisible units that we tell ourselves represent 100 pennies * X actually will be accepted when we need/want the physical thing. Maybe you will be able to go to the bank and exchange the invisible units that may or may not be there for paper dollars. But what good is that if no one accepts it anymore? I guess all these issues came up when we went off the Gold Standard; even the cash is only worth something because we say so; a $1 bill and a $100 bill are printed on the same type of cotton. One is only worth more becasue everyone accepts that it is. Everyone has to agree then that the invisible money that exists only as representations of 1's and 0's is worth the same thing as the cotton with a 1 printed on it. It's just disturbing to me because I think of all the things that could go wrong over litterally nothing. Anyway... |
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| Bunny Movie Parodies and other ramblings |
| 12.01.05 (9:17 am) [edit] |
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A classic is something everyone wants to have read but no one wants to read. --Mark Twain The same is true of movies isn't it? Fortunately, there is a solution. Here you can see Bunnies acting out movies "30 seconds more or less." Just added: A Christmas Story. Other ramblingz So let's see... The anatomy test is tomorrow. But since I have to, have to, have to animate something today. And my manager called and asked me to come in early to Macy's today, and I want to go in a little earlier to figure out how to ring up debit stuff as Credit, and see if there is a nametag available somewhere for me. So probably not much study time for that. Yesterday was a shitacular day that resulted in two trips back to my apartment, paying $8 in the school garage, being 10 minutes late for class, and almost not getting equipment checked out because the girl left early. I want to go to the movies again one of these days. But Jeremy decided he would rather go to Granite Bay for his two days off. I want to jump into drawing again, take some drawing field trips, do a blind contour of my Christmessy apartment, start another drawing like the Project From Hell (which won't be nearly so hellacious this time); beef up my portfolio. I can never seem to wake up at a decent hour anymore. I received two nasty letters about calling the hittee's insurance people, and so I finally call them. And do you think they call me back? I should send them a nasty letter, "I've called you twice already, WTF?" It's time to hit my dad up for about $4000; that covers school, rent, and credit card. At least when I get the money for school, if I do get caught living with Jeremy, it will be too late to get that money back. I am not asking for any clothes for Christmas because I want to lose the weight again and I don't want fat clothes, and I don't know of any t-shirts I really, really want. I'd better do something... For some reason when I come bac to edit, there are / next to all my ' and " Current Mood: whatever...
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Something else will go here soon KSJS Radio Promotion
5 KSJS Drops