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| Black History Month |
| 02.28.08 (11:57 pm) [edit] |
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I just saw a "Black History Moment" on TV.
A few thoughts: It's nice that there is a Black History Month. That way they have their one special time of the year (notice it's the shortest possible month?) and we don't have to think about their specific contributions the rest of the year. However, in May, will we have "Asian Heritage Moments?" I've never seen them. American Indian History Month is ironically in November. How about "GLBT History Moments?" in "Hispanic History Moments" between September/October are more likely to be seen since they are a strong "minority." But I do not remember any special lectures or reports I had to write on the topic. I also don't remember being lectured on/asked to research any women during March. Oh, well, maybe someday every group will have brief PSAs sponsored by McDonald's during their month too. Even at all that, it still leaves six and a half months for business as usual. So, I leave you with this happy thought brought to you by The Guerrilla Girls 
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| 1 Comments |
| The Plan Comes Together |
| 02.27.08 (10:39 pm) [edit] |
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I found my GRE scores buried on the table. If they are here now, they are also at SFSU now. I got a 520 verbal, 640 math, and a 5.0 on my writing.* So it is a relief that they have my scores. I priority mailed the official transcript to the Admissions office, the BECA office has the other official transcript. Sierra College has sent their official transcript for my one class there. My WB supervisor sent off his recommendation today, my mentor in this process has already sent hers, and I briefly saw my old art teacher and he said he sent his. The paperwork should have arrived. (I really should track it to make sure it didn't end up in LA somewhere like that one time). So, that's everything! It all happened and with a day or two to spare! Usually in this situation I am running around like a crazy person and stressing. It's just all done! And now we wait... Pray to your favorite deity in my favor, or direct your positive energy towards me, or whatever... It's interesting about these letters of recommendation, I'm a little curious to see what they said about me! They didn't share with me. *The scores are out of 800 in 10 point increments. 520 is in the 65 percentile, 640 in the 58%. The writing scores are on a scale of 0-6 in 0.5 increments. 5 is in the 73%. That is about how I thought I did. I also thought that would be my strongest area. |
| 0 Comments |
| My Birthday |
| 02.26.08 (11:41 pm) [edit] |
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There has been a lot of negative lately.
Let's talk about some positive stuff. The birthday, on which I called in sick, was nice. I collected job apps at the mall, which if you have seen how high-scale this particular mall is, and the thought of working in retail kinda depressed me. Then I had lunch with my seldom-seen best friend, who bought me lunch, and saw to it that the waiters embarrassed me. And then I hung out. And then my husband and I went to Red Lobster for dinner. I got many phone calls from both his and my families. I got some good presents. And all-in-all it was a good day. Not the most exhilarating birthday on record (an honor which probably goes to 15, or 22 in more recent years) and assuredly not the worst (an honor which goes to 24 or 20). And another positive thing, I for sure have 2 letters of recommendation in the bag. One more is certain, if the other two people that have committed to writing letters do it, i'll be all set. Now if only my damned GRE scores will come in. |
| 2 Comments |
| More job fun & Good Advice |
| 02.26.08 (8:02 pm) [edit] |
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Yesterday, I guess I answered the phone at work, and some bigshot was on the other end and asked to talk to the manager. I said, in a normal voice, "He's not here." Apparently, he thought I was so rude that he had to yell at my supervisor about it for 5 minutes...who of course yelled at me. I failed to realize I was supposed to do my Snow White imitation when I answered the phone. So I will not be answering the phone again; I'll let blondie, who does do the Snow White thing answer it...or one of the other people I work with who have outstanding personalities.
Even more fun was had when I was venting about this incident to my dad, who then proceeded to lecture me on the importance of not being rude on the phone. I let him know his comments were not appreciated. I am so sick of 50-year-old men right now. Some of the talk in the area I worked today revolved around what a despicable person the store director really is. I suspect because the guy I was with was mad that the director was mocking he, and another guy, for actually engaging the customers calling them slow. If the he didn't engage the customers, he would probably get secret shopped, not get a perfect score, and the director would be pissed because he wouldn't get a bonus off him. I limp. I didn't start limping until I started working there and taking every damn person out to their car. I have a flat foot. And I've learned it's probably genetic; thank you, Papa. The store director has expressed some concern over it. It always seemed kinda phony. I found out today that one day when he wanted me to stay later to cover someone being sick, he said, "See if Ms. [imitates limp] can stay later." Wow. Words fail me. That a grown man would say such a thing about his employees, outloud is just...wow. Next time I am asked to stay late, I will say, "I can't. It aggravates my foot." That would be awesome. I am never shopping at my grocery store again. I was tempted to put in my 2 weeks and hope for the best right then. I still may just to get out of that toxic environment. In another hopeful turn of events, a radio station promotions table set up in front of the store. Being desperate for work, I introduced myself, and gave a little background. I got a name and an e-mail address. We'll see what happens. However, I wish I had a copy of my resume. That's the good advice: if you are looking for a job, never leave home without a resume. I won't. |
| 0 Comments |
| 02.25.08 (11:06 pm) [edit] |
Because Anne Bonney will need a companion, and Calico Jack is not available: Keith Richards is awesome! |
| 0 Comments |
| Twelve Toninitis |
| 02.24.08 (10:05 am) [edit] |
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At 6:40 this morning, I did it. I called in sick. "Don't call in sick on me, girl!" he said. Ouch. I was halfway debating with myself about "Well, maybe I could just go in for half the day...?" But as my dad pointed out, they could get that fixed and my surprise recovery could cause more confusion and raise more questions. I haven't called in sick since Disney World, which, for those of you keeping score at home, is about 4.5 years ago. Everyone else I have talked to supports my decision.
I didn't want to rehash all of the reasons for my decision, but I might have to, just for me. (Anyone else who cares, stop reading now). 1. My request was flagrantly ignored. 2. Someone else with less seniority got a better shift than me 3. This is not the first time this has happened and they do not know what pressing engagement I might have had 4. Thus far, my perfect attendance has not gotten me anything and would not get me anything; not a promotion, not a raise, nothing. This is why Communism fails, no motivation for success. 5. No one else, neither the store nor the sickee, cares what my social plans are when they call in sick. They also don't care how busy we might be when we call in. 6. We get paid less than anyone in the store for working just as hard and thanklessly in the rain 7. The baggers get no respect. If anything, we get patronized. Nobody blames me for my decision. There are many many jobs I will apply for on Craig's List: administrative jobs, a few media jobs, and teaching jobs. But first, I am going to take a shower and go to the mall to job hunt. |
| 1 Comments |
| Anne Bonny Action Figure |
| 02.23.08 (11:06 pm) [edit] |
Wow! I sooo know what I want for my birthday!
Unfortunately, none of her friends, including Mary Reade, or Jack "Callico" Rackham seem to be available. Anne Bonny is my favorite historical figure. Actually, I want 3: one for myself to stay forever MOC along with my Indiana Jones, both series of Yellow Submarine Beatles, Marvin the Martian/Michael Jordan, and Rick O'Connell; one to give to my little girl when she is old enough to play with action figures without swallowing them, and one for her to stay forever MOC. Yes. |
| 0 Comments |
| 02.23.08 (8:28 pm) [edit] |
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I think I need to get some administrative experience. That might be the best way to get my foot in the door to some of these film/tv companies.
There is one nagging little voice in my head that is saying, "No! Calling in sick tomorrow would be bad because A. it will be busy B. It will put someone out C. They might find out you just didn't want on your birthday." I hate that little responsible caring voice that cares just a little too much. |
| 0 Comments |
| The Last Straw |
| 02.21.08 (10:47 pm) [edit] |
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I wondered when it might be; when I suddenly felt that any other job in the world would be better than where I was and that everything was just shit.
It came this afternoon. I had requested, on my birthday, to work no later than 6. Do you think I was scheduled till 6? Do you think I was scheduled 7? No. The giggly blonde girl who is fucking the produce manager and has less seniority than me is off at 7. I am scheduled to work my favorite shift on my birthday! 12/3/9. Well, that answers my dilemma in my previous post. Wow. That is totally not cool. For so many reasons that is not cool. It wasn't the demeaning little talks, and letters, and lack of promotion, and utter disrespect and expendability, being paid less to work in the rain, the first time I requested to be off early and was denied in favor of this blonde burnout, it was this. I have decided a few things. The first is, I am calling in sick on my birthday; I always have to cover everyone else's ass when they are sick, let them cover mine for a change. I am having lunch with a friend! I didn't want to work another 8 days in a row anyway. And they are going to be f'usy that day too! All the kids will be going back to school/home from vacations! The second is, I am going to find a new job; I don't really care what kind of job. I had hoped it would be some media job, now just working at another store that doesn't make you join an impotent union sounds appealing. The third is, I am going to try to do some substitute teaching; something a person with a college degree is qualified to do. According to my aunt, they are so desperate for help they don't even require you take the CBEST. The fourth is, since I obviously can't call in sick, then invite people from work to come party, I won't be doing the karaoke and whatnot after all. I am going to go to San Francisco and indulge...and poke around the CurrentTV building (Al Gore's network) and see if there is anyone who would be interested in a resume. Who says money can't buy happiness? I am not sure if there is a 5th thing. Other than a few days after calling in I will bring this chronic problem to my bosses attention (not that it will do any good). On my birthday I will look for a new job. I have since gotten really excited about going to San Francisco. |
| 3 Comments |
| Hopeless Birthday |
| 02.20.08 (8:31 pm) [edit] |
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Do I dare to hope this will work?
My birthday is on Sunday. Last year, we moved into our current residence, and it seemed everyone forgot my birthday. It sucked. It sucked hard. I didn't want that to happen this year. So in a grand act of what in hindsight seems like masturbation, I planned that I would go hang out at a bar and that other people might come hang out there with me because it's fun. I would dress sexy, drink fun drinks, sing karaoke, and other people would do the same. In other foolish acts, I planned to make brownies, and do goody bags. No shit, goody bags. God, when I write it all out I feel like an idiot. I was convincing myself that no one would come. That was before it was starting to look true. My best friend has to work that night. And it is that piece of news that makes me want to cancel the whole stupid affair. But no, I dared to hope that it might be fun and OK. Now, do I want to continue with my stupid, stupid hope, and totally shatter myself or just forget the whole thing and save face? I hate hope. Do you think it is a coincidence that "Hope" came out of Pandora's Box along with all the other evil stuff? I am trying to get myself excited about the back up plan I was creating but hoped I wouldn't have to use: throw money at my disappointment. I will go spend money, alone, in San Francisco and go places I want to go and buy stuff. Yay consumerism. If there is a better solution, cheaper, plausible solution, I have yet to find it. I should have learned from last year. I feel like such a dumbass. I should just never hope for anything ever. Hopeful people must be constantly disappointed. |
| 3 Comments |
| Test |
| 02.19.08 (9:51 pm) [edit] |
| Testing...testing... |
| 2 Comments |
| 02.15.08 (9:07 pm) [edit] |
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Everyone with more than half a brain should see Idiocracy. It is a hillarious movie from Mike Judge whose credits include Office Space and King of the Hill. This clip of Luke Wilson (who if you squint hard enough is almost as talented as his brother), the smartest man in the 2505 world is addressing the cabinet. You won't think of electrolytes the same again.
In other news, I think we're going to Katie Bloom's on my birthday. |
| 2 Comments |
| The Number 5 |
| 02.14.08 (10:15 pm) [edit] |
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At my store they take the secret shops very seriously. I got "shopped" during the most recent period. I got a 4. 5 is the best one can do. Accordingly, I didn't smile enough to their satisfaction. I've just never been a big smiler. Nobody, or only 1 person, got a 5 out of everyone that got shopped. The logical conclusion by the store director is of course that the whole store has just gone to pot. It is not that just maybe the shopper is a fickle asshole, it's all us.
Today I got called into the office for a little "pep talk." All of the baggers are getting them. Again, I sincerely doubt he's going to make a point of talking to everyone in the other departments, just us silly, addle-brained baggers. Also, pestering someone in private about their score is considered harassment by the union. Along those lines, if he had pissed me off enough, there is nothing in the world stopping me from saying he touched me somehow; nobody else was in there. I won't do that. But somebody told me exactly why he got his panties in a bunch: his bonus is directly affected by the number of 5's his employees make. That means if I do well, he gets more money. But what do I get? Not a chance of a promotion, a pay increase, bonus, etc. My motivation for doing well is a tiny cloisonné pin, and the chance to win a gift card. Wow. That's awesome. So I am not letting someone's opinion of me bother me (I don't think I need to reiterate how I feel about opinions) and I don't think that helping my boss who already pockets extra funds when he can, or a tiny pin is enough motivation for me to smile more that I already do. In conclusion, as always, I need a new job where I am respected. And I hope he gets a 3 the next time he gets shopped just like the last time he did. A pin! Hmph! I got 2 free pins in Disney World! I didn't have to smile more for them, one was Cast Exclusive (and ). Nobody directly profited from my success there! I also got a Cast discount. Went up to 40% during the holidays! |
| 2 Comments |
| Letters |
| 02.13.08 (10:14 am) [edit] |
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I got one of my art teachers to say he'd write me a letter of recommendation.
That unofficially makes 4/3 people. I'm still going to write/call some of my other art teachers and people I've worked with at media outlets. Maybe if I get 12 people to say they'll write me letters I'll actually end up with 3 letters. |
| 0 Comments |
| Googling Myself |
| 02.11.08 (1:34 pm) [edit] |
I am experimenting with people-finding. I tried to see if any personal information about myself has filtered through the system. Unfortunately, there is a Liverpudlian model with the same first and last name as me:
In the interest of privacy, I won't write her name. Maybe the real me is on page 85 somewhere. Edit: Apparently, if you put my whole name in quotation marks, you come to January 2005 of this blog. |
| 0 Comments |
| What's with Avatars? |
| 02.11.08 (12:28 pm) [edit] |
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There is a fad that puzzles me, even though I've done it a time or two. You can make a version of yourself as a Simpsons character, a South Park character, an animated Meez, an m&m, a Lego person, a Yahoo! person, a Disney Fairy, a Toontown character, a Zwinky, a smiley, or a Barbie Girl.
What is does this new trend reflect? |
| 0 Comments |
| Asking for stuff |
| 02.11.08 (12:13 pm) [edit] |
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I really hate asking people for stuff. I need to get over this. Any suggestions on this would be greatly appreciated.
Since my former teacher who said she would write me a letter has failed to write me back acknowledging that the letter is a work in progress, I am getting desperate. I now need to write damn near everyone who might remember me from an academic/work perspective. That includes high school teachers, relatives without the same last name as me, and art teachers. I want to write the guy I spent the week with in LA. I hesitate because...I don't know why. Maybe because I've almost abandoned art. Shit. Now, do I really want a secretary job at a TV station an hour away whose programming seems to consist Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. |
| 0 Comments |
| Letters |
| 02.08.08 (7:10 pm) [edit] |
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Nobody is writing me back! I feel like a compulsive e-mail checker.
The teacher who said she'd write me a letter hasn't written me. The teacher who said she'd look over my lame statement hasn't written me. My elementary school teacher hasn't written me. And I can't find the current e-mail address of one of my art teachers so that I don't get up f'early to attempt to go to their office hours only to find that they are out voting or something stupid like that...like I did last Tuesday. Ack! Stress! |
| 0 Comments |
| Harpy |
| 02.07.08 (11:20 pm) [edit] |
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Apparently, my family thinks I am some kind of miserable harpy and cannot understand why a such a perfect young man such as my husband* would want to put up with me.
That is depressing.
*I use that phrase much more sarcastically than they do. The teacher who said she would write me a letter has not written me back lately. And the teacher who said she would look over my statement has not done so. Crappity. |
| 0 Comments |
| 02.05.08 (9:56 pm) [edit] |
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I've got so many things to write; couple of cover letters, and a new personal statement. Since I really don't know how to do either, I feel overwhelmed. And instead, I just don't do anything.
The little blinking cursor mocks me. My first draft of my statement is really impersonal, except the part where after deep self-reflection and a total lack of figure drawing skills I quit art school. Man! How cool would a job at ILM be?! That would be totally worth the commute! (Don't hope. Hope is for suckers, remember?) |
| 0 Comments |
| ILM Job Posting |
| 02.04.08 (9:55 pm) [edit] |
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How cool is this job? Yes, I would commute for the life
experience. A Bachelor's Degree! I've got one of those!
And how cool is this video? It makes me wish that Davy Jones didn't have all those tentacles. I never did quite see the point of that anyway, other than they didn't have a lot of room for special effect characters like the first one did with its skeletons. So it's just cool for the sake of cool; gives all those BFA art majors I left behind something to do. The career center doesn't open until 10 tomorrow?! But I have to be at my job at 10 tomorrow. |
| 0 Comments |
| Super Bowl Halftime Shows |
| 02.03.08 (10:07 pm) [edit] |
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Just a short rant as I again, don't write my personal statement.
I had really just started down the media studies path when Janet Jackson had her unfortunate disrobing (which was really nobody's fault...I won't go there). I didn't watch it. It spawned a big outrage, a crackdown on indecency and was the cause of discussion in the class for weeks to come. I have noticed that since then, everyone playing the show has been old. Prince is the youngest one since then. I think he was only allowed on because he's denounced his sinful lascivious music. Tom Petty is not particularly offensive. However, I know I would have been even more traumatized if Keith Richards had a wardrobe malfunction. (My children saw that!) Disney has sponsored a lot of shows. I did not know that. Were the Cyruses too busy this month? It was also interesting that the show was sponsored by MTV. Coincidentally, the game was on CBS, who just happens to be part of the same company as MTV. The NFL denounced MTV because it was "their" show, but not CBS. That just seems odd to me. I was reviewing some old posts. Februaries have not been good months for me! Those are all the ones where I seem to hate myself, my life and my current situation the most. Maybe not this year, for a change. |
| 0 Comments |
| Demeaning |
| 02.02.08 (10:46 pm) [edit] |
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So, when i got to work today, i was taken aside and a manager read me a very demeaning little piece of paper for something about "Improvements for Courtesy Clerks" and in a very degrading, talked-down to sort of way laid out some rules about the same stupid things we all usually do like not using cell phones, not taking a long time taking out a customer's order, wear your uniform, and stupid CorporateThink phrases like, "Don't lean, clean!"
I am insulted. Here I thought if nothing else I was a grown up working in a grown up place of business, but clearly such is not the case. I am a child who is talking in class without raising my hand or playing with my cell phone when I thought the teacher wasn't looking. If you read this bullshit, and it wasn't being read to you, you'd think it was funny. Fortunately, another employee is going to give me a phone number so that I may register my indignation. This has led me to a slightly altered conclusion than the one I seem to keep coming back to: I need to finish up all this grad school shit so that I can really get on finding a new job! Although I haven't started to look too hard core yet, it's getting to the point where I would settle for another retail type job where if I could just get more respect and/or money that I would take it. But first, I must finish my very forced personal statement. Tomorrow, I'll write something about Super Bowl 1/2time shows. I venerate thesauruses! Finally, one or two of those stupid words I made myself memorize for the GRE come in handy! Like harangue. |
| 0 Comments |
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