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| Bechdel Movie Test |
| 07.31.08 (10:26 pm) [edit] |
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The test has three simple components. The movie/play/text has two or more female characters, with names, who talk about something besides a man. It is named after Alison Bechdel, the author of the graphic novel Fun Home and Dykes to Watch Out For. It seems so simple. However, when you start thinking about it, many many movies fail. Some of them fail miserably. I started looking though the movies I own. Of the 40-or-so movies, only 5 pass very well, a few pass because at some point two females do talk about something besides a man...once. And the rest either the women don't talk to each other, or they are just simply non-existent. The ones that pass the best (not surprisingly) were the ones with a mostly female cast or no love interest. Of the movies I own, not "of all time" or whatever, here are the ones that pass the best: 1. Drop Dead Gorgeous 2. Chicken Run 3. Wizard of Oz 4. Beetlejuice 5. Hoodwinked And here, of the movies I own, are my Bottom 4 (worst to best): 1. Ice Age 1 2. Dr. Strangelove 3. A Hard Day's Night 4. Jaws I was debating too much for a 5th worst one. This does not mean that movies that pass are great feminist movies or ones that don't aren't. Fargo ranks low because neither of its two females talk to each other. Yet, Margie is a good, strong, pregnant, woman. In addition, Drop Dead Gorgeous, is a satiric look at beauty pageants but doesn't really criticize their sexism. |
| 0 Comments |
| Worst Month |
| 07.30.08 (9:27 pm) [edit] |
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Maybe not the entire month. I realized I hate the deli and want to quit ASAP. I was diagnosed with Tuberculosis. My phone disappeared into a rip in reality, had to be replaced, yet was discovered by a very, very decent man on the street somewhere nearby where I had been driving but not opened my car door or windows. I backed into a van, illegally parked in the world's stupidest parking lot, with its back gates wide open (so that handicapped people can go bowling. I could rant about how this "Everyone can be included and do everything!" Mantra we seem to have is crap but I won't). Which will no doubt make my insurance go even higher. My best friend really hurt me and doesn't seem to care. I got the drugs for this Tuberculosis which make it seem I can't eat or drink any of the things I enjoy in life for the next six months. And in the latest run of bad luck and misfortune, my purse has disappeared into the fabric of reality as well. I last threw it into the back seat of my car in a parking lot in Santa Cruz last night. I don't think I have removed it since. Yet it is not in my home or car and my car did not seem to have been robbed. So much negativity in such a short period. August is going to be a better month. |
| 1 Comments |
| TB Drug |
| 07.29.08 (11:16 pm) [edit] |
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So I got my drug for my Tuberculosis. I was told by the pharmacist, "No alcohol what-so-ever while taking this drug." Really? None? For six months? Could I like skip a day if I want to drink? "No." And according to further research on the internet, I should "use caution/avoid" a lot of foods; this include most kinds of cheese, sour cream, yogurt, sausage, bologna, tuna, soy sauce, chocolate, caffeine, beer inclu. non-alcoholic, avocados, bananas, non-prescription drugs, the drug I used to take to prevent my seizures, red wine, and other distilled spirits. Wow. I might listen to "No alcohol for six moths" but I'll be damned if I am going to give up all that! If I was pregnant, no alcohol/caffeine/OTC drugs would be one thing. But I have to take drugs (which also have questionable side effects) to kill an infection I may not have and that still might come back anyway. Wow. Just seriously, wow. And to top it off, I still don't know if after all this I will still be able to substitute teach which is the only reason why I'm doing all this! I seriously hope the shithead who did this to me is dying a very painful death as we speak. |
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| Satires |
| 07.29.08 (12:51 am) [edit] |
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Network came out in 1976. Broadcast News came out in 1987. I don;t know that there have been any mainstream news satires since then (besides The Daily Show). Somebody should write a movie about Fox News. Again, I know we have the Colbert Report, Out Foxed, and even the Simpsons, to some extent, but nobody has written a Satire Movie about a conservative news network. Maybe because the 24 hour news network is a relatively new idea. Also, I was just watching Leave it to Beaver from the 1950's in which two aunts visit June for awhile and make her moody and not the funnest person to be around. I really wanted one of those aunts to be named Aunt Flo[rence]. And the way she/they were they might as well have been. I pretended they were anyway. That would have been much funnier than most bland Beavers anyway. |
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| What I believe |
| 07.27.08 (6:31 pm) [edit] |
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I believe in ME! I believe that friends, family, spouses, and religions are for weak people. All you need in this life, is you. Thinking that friends will acknowledge you, that family will help you, and spouses will defend or help you when you hurt, and that some big invisible man in the sky will make everything work out somehow or another is asinine. Shit. All of those people disappoint you. All you need is you. People who need other people to help them or defend them, are weak! I am not weak!! I don't need any people or in my life! I believe if anything is ever to happen, it is because I will make it happen. All I need is me! |
| 1 Comments |
| Friendship, or not |
| 07.26.08 (8:25 pm) [edit] |
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So, I drove my ass all the way up to San Francisco primarily to see my former best friend dance in a show that was very important to her. I wouldn't've gone up there was it not for her. I also spent quite a bit of money on getting in, and other goodies. Several people were there to support her, including her mom, boyfriend, and two other friends of hers. So later my former best friend writes a blog entry gushing about all the people who supported her in her dancing. She thanked her Mom, her sister and dad, (who weren't even at the event), her boyfriend, her two best friends and everyone else! I was not mentioned. Actually, I take it back. She claims I was mentioned; I am "Everyone else." I known her since kindergarten, and been good friends with for 14 years. She was my maid of honor. I don't know how long she's known those two other girls, her best friends. The two people she can mention by name, and I get thrown in with the rest of the peanut gallery. How special am i? Maybe if she had some in-joke of ours tattooed on her enormous white ass I could get mentioned by name. And it is precisely for reasons like this that she has never known that I have kept a blog since May 2003. And now I see in her moods on MySpace she "Is tired of pettiness." What a cunt. I know damn good and well if the situation was reversed she would be pissed too. |
| 1 Comments |
| Happenings |
| 07.25.08 (10:39 am) [edit] |
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I did find something to do in San Francisco before my friend's event which was at a divey bar and the entertainment consisted mostly of stripping acts by embonpoint women. And I managed to get a really good parking spot for that. I registered for classes this morning. I feel good about that. I probably won't stay in all four of them though. And I can't believe I am considering getting a MySpace page after holding out for so long to increase the exposure to my YouTube page and because it's the easiest way to contact people. Speaking of YouTube, here is my latest animation: There is also a slide show from a bridal shower for my work friend who is getting married on my page. But I don't think too many people care about that. Today is my work anniversary. I hope the next pay cycle has the vacation check they never paid me for when I took my vacation last year. If it's not there, somebody will be talked to. And I am almost done with the Jack and Sally Wedding card. And I just finished the book about Queer Movies. |
| 1 Comments |
| Is the Sexual Revolution coming? |
| 07.25.08 (10:07 am) [edit] |
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In the 1890's everything was really uptight sexually. The 1920's was one of the worst/best (depending on your point of view) eras for sex overthrowing Victorian Puritanism. The car and movie theaters also made it possible for two people to get away and have a private interlude. By the 1950's back to conservatism, and monogamy. We have traditional repressive gender roles. The 1960's was a total rejection of all this with sexual liberation. By the 1980's the whole sexual revolution thing was capped by people freaking out about AIDS. We also have Reganism, and the rise of Christian Fundamentalism. So, by my account, the next sexual revolution should be here anytime, certainly during the 10's. |
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| San Francisco |
| 07.23.08 (11:29 am) [edit] |
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Here is an odd predicament: I am going to San Francisco for an event later on this evening. It feels like I should do something beforehand though. Just something; Pay a bill at SFSU, go to a museum, go shopping, get an ice cream... I don't play up there everyday. I also don't want to spend a lot of money either. Hmmm... |
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| Tuberculosis |
| 07.21.08 (11:07 am) [edit] |
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I do not have active tuberculosis. However, now I have to take drugs for six months which hopefully will not affect my birth control, or my ability to drink.
I really don't want to go to my crappy job today with all those stupid people like Mussolini...or ever. 62 more days until I can quit, again, if there are positive forces in the universe that work in people's favor occasionally. I've been wanting to quit for almost a year now, and hopefully some people will not steal my chance away from me...again... |
| 0 Comments |
| Worst Week |
| 07.20.08 (4:47 pm) [edit] |
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This has truly been the worst week in recent memory. It started with learning that I have been exposed to a disease found mostly in third world countries and that it could affect my ability to teach and do other things. On Friday morning, I lost my cell phone. (It has since been replaced with a much cooler one). And on Saturday afternoon, I backed into the wide-open back gate of a van parked in non-designated parking spot in an asinine little parking lot. And I found out my favorite person that I work with in the deli is going to another store leaving me stuck with some of people who dislike me the most. Yay! Awesomeness! On the other hand, I did have a very nice visit with my family this weekend. I saw Wall*E which I highly recommend. 63 more days until I can quit...if there are positive forces in the universe in my favor... This week has left me questioning... |
| 2 Comments |
| Tuberculosis |
| 07.16.08 (8:39 pm) [edit] |
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In my ongoing quest to just be a fucking substitute teacher, I went to get a damn TB Test, because the one I had from less than four years ago wasn't good enough.
Sometime in those four years, some shithead either from a third world country or with a history of needle sharing must have sneezed on me because now I'm testing positive! Isn't that awesome?! Despite not having any common traits for people for whom this is common, I now have what is hopefully a latent infection. Which is now going to result in more money, medication, doctor's visits, etc. So now my quest is even more ongoing and costly. $40 for the standardized test, $135 for the fingerprinting, $55 for the license, $20 just for the initial injection, and now who knows how much for chest x-rays and medications; upwards of $35, let's say that. And this is still no solid guarantee that this will result in a steady flow of income. Although at the same time, after putting so much money into it, not attempting it would have made all that a waste. I seriously just want to hunt down whoever did this to me. God knows when or where it might have been in the past several years, or even where. We'll call that reason #4 to leave Nob Hell for a job with less exposure to the general public. This problem affects about 3-5% of Americans. That is about how many people are gay. |
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| 07.16.08 (9:07 am) [edit] |
| Whaddaya know! It's only 9:00, I haven't even gone to work and the prophecy has already been self-fulfilled! |
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| 07.15.08 (10:36 pm) [edit] |
| Tomorrow is another day...for things to go horribly awry and hate my life even more. |
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| Complaining |
| 07.14.08 (8:09 pm) [edit] |
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I was filling out a form to add my husband to my benefits at work. There was a section about the "Beneficiary of Death." There was something sobering about that. People always say something like, "Life is too short to..." If I died working at that store, it would be the most depressing thing ever. So that is a good enough reason to leave soon anyway. So there is a lot of needless drama in the deli, it seems. People are always doing the jobs I am supposed to. I have certain tasks I need to do after I come back from lunch. And the people either with an earlier/later lunch will have already done them for me when I get back. This makes me angry. I don't know why exactly. I guess I just want structure. People also do one job for me because they feel I am not very good at it, they are better, so they'll just do it themselves. That may be, but I don't see how I am supposed to get better at it without doing it more. What also makes me angry is when these people do most of my job for me but leave the last and dirtiest/worst part for me. If you are going to do the job, do the whole thing, don't pick and choose the good parts; if you are going to empty the pot, clean it. Don't empty it and leave the cleaning for me. Mussolini is bossy, he feels like he has to tell me everything to do, when I can figure it out on my own a lot of times. It also bothers me how every time I try to do one task, uninterrupted, from start to finish, there is always a stupid customer there. I know the customers are the reason for me being there and doing everything else. I guess this also gets back to my desire for structure; finish one task before moving on to another, not start a task, stop for a customer, and another customer, go back to the task, get almost finished, have to help a customer who needs six sandwiches. And to top it off, I feel like my general complaints and venting about my job to my husband are somehow either petty or invalid unless I am in danger of being written up and potentially fired. 68 more days until I can leave. It is incredibly shitty to have stay working in a crappy place just for benefits. |
| 0 Comments |
| What's on TV? |
| 07.12.08 (10:38 pm) [edit] |
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So, if in Perfectville, I could do an internship at any TV show where would it be? The problem is, I don't have cable, I only currently watch My Name is Earl, so I am really not sure what the kids are watching these days. So, My Name is Earl is on the list. I also haven't quite worked out the details yet on how I might do an internship in Atlanta/New York/LA/Massachusetts... Or I might just give my mom's neighbor who used to be Steve Jobs's personal assistant a ring and see who she could hook me up with at Pixar and I'll just hang out here. It's over a semester away. Still, it makes my brain hurt to think about all of it. Nobody makes it easier to apply for an internship than Ellen! And this Colbert Report video with Cookie Monster is awesome/hillarious...awesrious...hillsome... |
| 0 Comments |
| Stress |
| 07.11.08 (12:07 am) [edit] |
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I have been going through books like PacMan lately, or at least more than I have...possibly ever. I am reading lots of books about television, movies, etc. Except that I have like 11 books to read, I turned 3 in yesterday, only to get 3 more, and there are 2 more waiting for me at the library. I've been reading academic-like books in preparation for an essay I want to write on the cult following of Rocky Horror Picture Show anything that might somehow relate (Queer Cinema, Cult Cinema, in which I got sick of seeing the words, Rocky Horror, Pink Flamingos, Casablanca and Liquid Sky, intertextuality/parody, Frankenstein, fandom) which I hope will lead to a documentary on the RHPS phenomenon, but first I need a camera, and first I have to announce my intentions to someone related to the local midnight theater. On the one hand, I have no reason to believe they would say no, on the other hand, they might, and then where would I be? But first, I need a camera! I have editing software now. One of the books waiting for me is one about it and why can't it just play a simple clip without jamming up? And then, what if I don't get paid for my vacation? I need a camera by the 8th, and was planning on spending some of my vacation money on that (incidentally, I just got a raise, so now when I get paid for that vacation they will have to do it under my current pay rate of a dollar more an hour than when I actually took the vacation they were supposed to pay me for). It's amazing how many people just assume you have a video camera. So, just for a change of pace in the copious note taking/academics, I start reading a book about working in TV, (I'll ruin the ending for you: Intern, intern, intern) and after some dismal statistics, thinking about the possibility of temporarily relocating to another state, wondering if I can do that being married and stuff, and everything I would have to do just to get interviewed. I am sorry I started reading the stupid thing because I think about all of it and all I want to do is curl up into the fetal position and stare off. I planned on interning in Grad School but now it's like intimidating. And Grad School is intimidating. How can I intern, somehow make money, and do all the work involved in Grad School, and did I actually pay for my test? And will I get it off? And there are like 2 books on subbing I want to buy, one on writing, and one on documentary making. But there are a bunch of books about drawing and stuff I've barely looked at. And at some point, I need to take a break from the reading to make the card for the wedding I'm going to, and I would like to do another painting just for fun as well. And I want to sub in the fall, but I am still not sure how I can just leave, even though I hate working in there because it is so much work, and I hate having to stop midway through one project to help customers because it's just not the way I like to work, and we are so short-handed there and I'm not sure if it's worthwhile. And I somehow or another need to get that stupid TB Test and then go to districts and stuff again! and that won't be for at least another 2 weeks or so. My brain really hurts!! |
| 1 Comments |
| Get Smart |
| 07.09.08 (11:11 am) [edit] |
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Yes. I saw it. Some spoilers may ensue.
It was occasionally funny. One of the only parts that made me laugh out loud was Alan Arkin correcting the president on the pronunciation of the word "nuclear." The first time we see the president, he is reading a children's book to a class just like the morning of September 11th. I guess they thought to have him playing the presidential guitar was too direct maybe? According to the story, Agent 99 had to undergo plastic surgery to continue to be a secret agent because she was outed. For some reason, I really wanted that outer to be the Vice President. But I don't think most of the intended audience would have gotten that. Somebody has clearly seen Dr. Strangelove. The war room is very very similar, two men started physically fighting (although no one told them not to fight in the War Room) they even seemed to have a General Buck Turgeson character thrown in there. I think we might also have our winner for this year's MTV Movie Award Best Onscreen Kiss. (I won't say between whom). I was also a little perturbed that the whole climax of the movie was an extended Looney Tunes joke, specifically the one where someone challenges Bugs to play a piano/xylophone and one of the notes sets off a bomb, which he inevitably misses, until the frustrated challenger plays the tune himself, and blows up. Careful viewers of these cartoons note that sometimes there is a big red X on the note in question. They do this too in Get Smart. Update: And I wish Bill Murray was in it for more than eight seconds. |
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| Desires to Leave |
| 07.07.08 (8:32 pm) [edit] |
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Today was OK. Not terrible (because my manager didn't find anything to pick on me about, due to the fact she wasn't there). But not great because it just sucks. On the one hand, I am counting the days until it will be my turn to find a new job again* (like it has supposed to have been all along, but anyway...). On the other hand, they have had a lot of challenges with different people working there and quitting and stuff. (Again, I wonder why that is?!). And I think they were hoping I would be different. So it's like, "Someone might be inconvenienced, or disappointed if I quit! And I've been planning quitting all along so I have led you on in my intentions to stay." I hate that I am like that. I am way, way, too nice! Maybe I'll get moved to the other store and sever all emotional issues surrounding my current one. I also remember why I chose to be a bagger in the first place, because I didn't want to deal with food and all the problems that come with food (it spoils, it's messy, it must be kept at an optimum temperature). On the other hand, I am only still there because of certain circumstances and was robbed of my options. (excuses, excuses!) Everyone else hates being there and is just waiting to retire in ten years or be promoted (not in the near future). I do not wish to stay ten years, and don't think I will stay for my next promotion. So, why bother staying? They bait you along with the promise of a raise in a mere six months, and improved benefits. But if the work sucks, is 50 more cents in a mere over-five-months? Nope. It is seemingly a dead end job, or a job with no visible light at the end of the tunnel. That is why I should leave. I shouldn't forget it! *75 days, or 2 months and 13 days. |
| 0 Comments |
| My 4th |
| 07.04.08 (8:02 pm) [edit] |
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I dread the thought of going to work tomorrow. I hate it so. I have had a good day today. I went to the beach with my friend who I don't see as much as I would like. I got a raspberry on my butt from when a wave and its undercurrent took me for a ride. And I've had a relaxing evening at home. My husband BBQ'ed. It's been nice. We will probably see fireworks from our street later. And the Twilight Zone marathon is on. I really don't want to work there anymore. |
| 0 Comments |
| I hate the deli |
| 07.03.08 (9:43 pm) [edit] |
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Wow, another entry pronouncing my hatred for something. Today, for various reasons, many of them holiday-related (again, I dislike them) the store was insanely busy. The manager, who was probably in a pissy mood anyway (because of the the stupid holiday), was upset about something I failed to do last night. I underestimated the importance of this. I was again criticized for being too slow, and messy (the latter I didn't realize I was being until today; I have a better solution to fix this). This was also phrased as a, "Speed up, be neater, or else it just isn't working out." If the answer is something like, "Next time, try doing it this way for faster results" that would be helpful. If the answer is, "Just be faster" that is a little more difficult.I feel like a chicken with my head cut off half the time, so I don't know how to be faster. Speaking of cutting things off, I sliced into my finger with an electric meat cutter. How did I do this? By attempting to cut off tissue-thin slices of meat off half a cow's thigh (not an exaggeration). This thing looks like a piece of meat Fred Flintsone would eat. As such, the regular guards were not there to protect me as I was sweating trying to make a pound of meat for these people and I think I still did a lousy job (again, picture a pound of tissue paper, laid flat, but also sticky). Fortunately, the manager was gone and nobody else but the people in my immediate vicinity found out. Let's hope it stays that way. So after everything, I just felt like crying but couldn't. A conversation ensued between my mom and I when I said, "I just felt like crying" and she started crying, "Why are you like that?! Why aren't you happy?!" (Well, I don't feel like crying that bad). She thought I said, dying. So that made her feel better. This stupid job is not worth being suicidal over. In fact, it's probably not worth crying over. After some thought I have decided I really don't care anymore. I don't like working in a place where I have slipped too many times and can slice my fingers off. If she wants me removed, fine. I'm sick of the store. Of course, the reason I am over there is because of the store director hiring people in a short period of time and both of them leaving. (I wonder why they did that?!). So if she thinks she can do better with someone else somewhere else, good for her. If I get demoted (not likely), that will be the end of Nob Hill and I; I'll be like husband, jobless partly on principle with no solid plan. And also tonight, I happened to get a phone call from my aunt, and we started talking about subbing, and she got me kind of excited about that. But for some stupid reason, even though I am more resolved than ever to quit in October or sooner (as soon as my husband can get bennies) I still feel a little weird/guilty about leaving. Crap, how dumb of me!!! So it's been a shitacular day. I decided to have a piece of chocolate cake for dinner and I am now listening to my mellow playlist. I guess whatever happens happens. Yesterday, it came out that I had a college degree. "Well what are you doing here then?! Welp, you're never getting out of here. You are going to be stuck here forever just like us!" Yep. Just like Cuckoo's Nest. I want to leave so bad. Four weeks (hopefully) until I get paid for my vacation (which I will put partly towards a video camera; I bought semi-pro editing software which I am super-excited about), and then after that I am eligible for another vacation check. Hopefully I can make it that long. |
| 0 Comments |
| I hate holidays |
| 07.01.08 (5:47 pm) [edit] |
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I still really hate holidays. My retail, hourly wage job/life doesn't stop just because everyone else fortunate enough to have a good job or work for a small company does. I am off, by sheer chance, this 4th. I am glad because I don't want insulting holiday pay. Every time I think I am going to accomplish something (ie getting registered with school districts to be a function substitute teacher by fall-ish). There are a bunch of unexpected setbacks that set it off a week. I have to get another TB test. Apparently the one from 4 years ago isn't good enough despite not traveling to any 3rd world countries or recent bouts of coughing up blood. (Next, they will test you for another nearly-dead communicable disease, Yellow Fever). So I find a place that could give me a test on the spot, and what do they say? "Hmmm...well, we can't do that today, because we will be closed on Friday. My world doesn't stop. I don't see why everyone else's should either. Maybe someday holidays will be meaningful again. But right now they are a big fat inconvenience. |
| 0 Comments |
Something else will go here soon KSJS Radio Promotion
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