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| Another one of those days... |
| 06.26.05 (4:09 pm) [edit] |
|
I feel like a failure. I have only done two things that I promised myself I would do beyond school in this current situation; I haven't worked out a single day since I got here, I haven't attempted any stop-motion movies, and I haven't been home a day since I got here. These last three weekends since I got here have been all about school-related shit; boat trip, paper, internship. It pisses me off that I haven't worked out. I feel pathetic by saying I don't have the time. But the evenings must reserved for doing the homework. I feel guilty about not working out. There is a goal I want to obtain, but I don't feel like I'm doing anything besides torturing myself and constantly thinking about the foods I want to eat. But my Bettie Page poster reminds me that being constantly hungry is a good thing. It means I'm not filling up on crap. The only thing I do that I promised myself I would do is go to the zoo on Fridays before internship. I consider that to be one of the two most important things I do all week, going to the internship is the other. I really don't care about all this crap! But that is why I am opting to do it now instead of when it is interrupting important classes. But there are other things I want to read. Just general stuff I'm curious about. Like figuring out if a more-or-less patriachal world came about because men know that women (especially during their periods in which we can endure searing pain, bleed without dying, and act irrational like me do everyday of the month) are more powerful than they are and they had to put a stop to all that and thus the tradition was passed down and spread throughout the world. Incidentally, why is a woman in so many cultures (including this one to some extent) when she has her period signifying she is a fertile healthy, woman is unclean, but when a man jacks off, also signifying he is healthy and fertile, and getting his private juices all over the sheets he's not unclean? Maybe I just feel particularly shitty now because it has been another one of those days where I haven't gotten dressed, haven't showered I've barely moved, and the only thing I have done besides study is take a nap and go to the bathroom; same thing I did last Saturday with that paper. Fortunately, I need to move my car so that will give me something to do. My brain hurts, I'm hungry, and I feel really blah. I'm debating if I should eat again. I had a (single serving, but not low-calorie) bag of popcorn not long ago. I have had...480 calories today. I guess I can afford a dinner or something. I am getting sick of that frozen white fish. I should get dressed and move my car just to get away from my desk and room. Current Mood:  blaaaaah
|
posted by: Carl (reply)
post date: 03.27.06 (3:55 am)
Must have really Gotcha
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