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| Worry |
| 07.28.05 (8:12 am) [edit] |
|
Nothing is happening. I miss Disney World. There were no real problems in Disney World. There were plenty of annoyances. But they were all temporary; the crowds eventually had to leave, you could clean up the garbage spill all over your legs, closing every night was an annoyance but I put up with it and thanked my lucky stars that I didn't work at Magic Kingdom. There were no self-righteous parents. Everything was set. There was work, hence there was money. You were guaranteed a place to live. There was no homework, classes, degree chasing (for all the good a degree seems to be), or BFA portfolio reviews. I seemed to have more good friends in my life than I ever have had or probably will have again. Plus I was somewhere. If nothing else, on my days off and some evenings, I got to be in Disney World which was never boring. Now there is uncertainty. There is worry. There is no security: no money, no place to live, concerns about school. In addition, I am bored. When I wake up early on these summer mornings to go to the zoo something just feels right about it. Like it's the way it's supposed to be. I should be getting up early on a summer morning to go somewhere; a theme park to play, a theme park to work, across two or three states. Stuff needs to happen. I wish I could not be so neurotic. If I can be in school, I should be allowed to be in counseling too. I wish I could fast forward through the next five years; past the rest of school, past all of these uncertainties and the ones I will have to face in a few years, past any marriage crap. I had another dream that I was getting married. My mom planned everything and all I did was show up. I think it was prompted by an arguement my mom and I had. At her suggestion, at least 16 months in advance she suggested I go to David's Bridal and try on dresses becuase they were having a sale (which they have about every two weeks). And they make you sign up and give them a bunch of personal information. Now I am on some kind of list where people are sending me catalogues and calling me about bridal fairs (I don't know). My mom said she found catalogue of wedding invitations, and asked for about the third or fourth time, "What did you do?" Reminding her it was her idea that I run out and try on wedding dresses (thereby partially placing some of the blame on people incessantly calling me on her) only got her pissy, "Well! I'm sorry! I thought it might be fun! I won't ever suggest anything like that again!" :roll: I want to... i don't know... Current Mood:  nervous
|
posted by: Vilyamkx (reply)
post date: 08.02.07 (7:38 pm)
Hello! great idea of color of this siyte!
Something else will go here soon KSJS Radio Promotion
5 KSJS Drops