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| Portfolio Revue Dreams, The Animal Shelter, Crappy Boots, Moxie, Cranky Computer, My upcoming birthday, and the SI Swimsuit Edition |
| 02.17.06 (9:28 pm) [edit] |
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I now have had 3 dreams about failing the portfolio revue. In the latest, these two girls who don't believe their drawing skills are that great, but are seeming to do much better in this painting class than me (because I should be in the Art Short Bus program; how everyone else just has such a god-given gift, and all those fuckers have flat out lied to me I'll never know) got in and I didn't. This portfolio revue situation is like the joke about the two people running away from bear. One says, "I don't know if we're going to out run the bear!" The other says, "I don't have to out run the bear, I just have to out run you!" I don't have to be the best. I just have to be better than some. I would have no problem being ranked 25/25. Just as long as I am still in the top 25 people they pick this year. So stressful. Jeremy and I went and looked at kitties and bunnies at the animal shelter yesterday. I like the kitties that try and reach you through the glass better than the ones that stare you down, "What're you lookin' at?!" There was a really adorable white kitten that was so playful and active. *SIGH!* Then after that we went and looked at...harder shinier objects... I really need new boots. My old ones leak and never dry. But stupid stores can't carry nice boots (or anything) in a freakin' size 11. It's one thing to have a low body image because of media messages. But what about when stores don't want to even acknowledge your kind exists? Tomorrow I'm going to see the teacher who taught my teacher. I hope something good comes from it. Evidentally, if I'm going to "make it" in the art world, I will do so mostly on moxie. (No not his exact words, but "moxie" is a fun one). I officially need to go Elvis Presely or Dick Cheney on my computer (take your pick). It's kinda turned into a cranky old man, "I don't wanna print your documents...My USB ports don't work as good as they used to...I'll get it done when I'm good 'n' ready...I don't wanna get turned off..." So I think my dad is going to give me an old computer that he doesn't use anymore. If only it had the Windows XP platform. So. My birthday is coming up. I wonder where my mom wants to go for dinner. It seems like everytime I pick a place for us to go for my birthday dinner she has a problem with it. I wonder if Kelly will remember. I never call her anymore. I always wait for her to call me. If we hang out it's mostly on her terms unless I need help with a project. Over the years I've gotten frustrated with trying to get her to bend to my schedule because it's never worked. But she always comes up to Sacramento for my birthday. I wonder if Jeremy will be avaiable any weekend to party or go up to Sacramento or whatever. I guess that's it. I desparately need to do some tracing (evidentally). Or maybe a skull rendering. I finally got my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. It's very cleverly advertised. All of the ads have girls in "bikinis" so they look just like the real girls. There is more body painting in the ads this year (last year there weren't any). I wonder what the purpose of that edition What does it say about our culture that body painting isn't "offensive?" If you are offended by someone being naked, how is it an except if they just look like they're wearing clothes? Also, why is it that a breast itself isn't offensive but a nipple is? There are no visible nipples in that magazine. But there are plenty of naked yet cleverly covered breasts. I still wish I knew how God gave everyone else (in my immediate surroundings) a gift of drawing except me. Like I said, Short Bus Art student. Current Mood:  not exactly sure...
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