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| Hopeless Birthday |
| 02.20.08 (8:31 pm) [edit] |
|
Do I dare to hope this will work?
My birthday is on Sunday. Last year, we moved into our current residence, and it seemed everyone forgot my birthday. It sucked. It sucked hard. I didn't want that to happen this year. So in a grand act of what in hindsight seems like masturbation, I planned that I would go hang out at a bar and that other people might come hang out there with me because it's fun. I would dress sexy, drink fun drinks, sing karaoke, and other people would do the same. In other foolish acts, I planned to make brownies, and do goody bags. No shit, goody bags. God, when I write it all out I feel like an idiot. I was convincing myself that no one would come. That was before it was starting to look true. My best friend has to work that night. And it is that piece of news that makes me want to cancel the whole stupid affair. But no, I dared to hope that it might be fun and OK. Now, do I want to continue with my stupid, stupid hope, and totally shatter myself or just forget the whole thing and save face? I hate hope. Do you think it is a coincidence that "Hope" came out of Pandora's Box along with all the other evil stuff? I am trying to get myself excited about the back up plan I was creating but hoped I wouldn't have to use: throw money at my disappointment. I will go spend money, alone, in San Francisco and go places I want to go and buy stuff. Yay consumerism. If there is a better solution, cheaper, plausible solution, I have yet to find it. I should have learned from last year. I feel like such a dumbass. I should just never hope for anything ever. Hopeful people must be constantly disappointed. |
posted by: Helem23487 (reply)
post date: 02.20.08 (11:28 pm)
24iijg qpoertwyr534nn
posted by: OldSchool (reply)
post date: 02.21.08 (6:31 am)
Hope it all ends up okay. Hope you have a nice birthday.
posted by: fractalmom (reply)
post date: 02.21.08 (7:49 am)
the funny thing about holidays is...we all have some sort of 'ideal' plan in mind, how things should, but rarely do, go...and then we are terribly disappointed when it doesn't turn out that way.
so, i am thinking your alternative plan MAY include....
1. put the plan out of your head.
2. schedule the day off if you can
3. do you actually LIVE In SF? good on you if you do!! those are my old stomping grounds, i am loath to admit it, but i am one of the original haight hippies LOL.straight up.
anyway, that is a town that should be easy to have fun in.
4. have some $$ in your pocket. a good bit if you can get away with it.
5. find a part of the city you haven't explored yet. with shops, and bars. bars are VERY important.
6. take public transportation, a change of clothes in your bag, and enough money for a hotel.
shop for awhile. buy stupid little things that make you smile. treat yourself to a kick ass lunch at a restaurant you would otherwise not go into.
wander around. find a bar that looks convivial. if you are straight, stay away from gay bars. if not, go for it. be where you will feel comfortable.
wander in, sit at the bar which should be peopled at least. don't find an empty bar for God's sake !!
have a nice glass of wine, or a cold one. or try a new drink.
leave that bar if it doesn't look like a fun night will develop. stroll around some more and shop. find another place.
make new friends. TALK to the people sitting at the bar, small talk. don't try to pick anyone up LOL. just have some fun.
it's okay to have fun by yourself, after all, YOU are the only one who probably won't disappoint you.
have a wonderful birthday.
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