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| Yesterday (really, this time) |
| 09.12.04 (12:27 pm) [edit] |
|
OK, Yeah. Didn't get back to sleep, but I do feel a little more refreshed now. So, night before, I dreamed that I was the devil's daughter. My mom and dad were sitting me down to tell me this, but my dad was doing all the talking. He told me that while he was my father, (I don't know what my waking mom was), but I was tolg that I was the daughter of the devil. I got angry at him, not screaming, but cussing. I said, "Oh, that's just great! Thanks a lot! Fuck you, man!" I think I have a pretty good idea what this is about. I have replayed a senario in my mind where I tell my dad "Fuck you," it's right about as he's telling me he won't pay for college unless I get married. As I am walking out the door with Jeremy to eloupe to Reno, I say that to him. I have recently noticed how religious he actually is. So, yesterday, I walked to Starbucks, looked at tempera paint at the art store, looked for a movie that I might want to watch at Blockbuster (found nothing). Then I went to KTEH and arrived at 1. According to the technical volunteer organizer, she sent an email to everyone at midnight saying if you were scheduled to come at 1, come at 3 instead. (I have yet to see this supposed e-mail). So I had to make myself disappear for a little less than 2 hours. I decided to take an imaginary trip to Eastridge Mall. First, I imagined that Eastridge Mall (before it was bought out by the Westfield Mall Monopoly, overhauled, and temporarily reduced to maybe, 20 stores) didn't suck. On the way, I imagined I knew where the hell I was going. Then I went to JCPenny's where I was handed a chocolate bar wrapped in a 40% off coupon. I looked around the store and imagined that there was something I wanted even if just for the discount. I looked at cute underwear. I imagined they came in a size bigger than 8. I went into Spencer Gifts. I imagined I would actually buy something in there. (Although for $20 I did almost buy a pink neon light that looked like the mudflap girl). I went to Victoria Secret. First, I imagined that any article in there would fit me. Then, I imagined that even if I had something sheer/lacy/pretty that someone would get to see me in it anytime soon. (It is an enigma that women buy clothing that was meant to be taken off, and sometimes it seems the less there is to it, the more expensive it is). I went to Macy's, up to the Cellar (go figure!) and I looked at the Fiestaware I want to have someday.   I imagined I had a real apartment or house that I could put it in and use it. (They didn't have the "shamrock" colored ones) Then, I went to Payless Shoes. When I got there, I had to imagine they had more than 5 pairs of size-11 shoes. What I had anticipating having to imagine there is that anyone of them were actually cute, or that any slightly-feminine person would want to wear. I walked past Cinnabon. I imagined that I didn't have a Starbucks earlier, that I actually could have one of those. I tried to go to the bathroom. I imagined it wasn't closed. I went back to JCPenny's to look at their shoes. I imagined they didn't stop at size 8. Then I tried to imagine I wasn't depressed about being big-footed, alone, and big. What did I So I went back to PBS. And the coordinator who asked me to come in earlier said she still had me scheduled for 5-11:30. Because there was still no one to do Camera 1 for the first shift, and she found someone to do it later, I got to do it then. I think the time went by fast. Unfortunately, I think I had the most boring camera position. All I got to do was focus on the host. The other cameras got to look at the kids answering the phone (Gunderson High School students) and the stuff that was being auctioned off. After that, I went back to my room, got Andrea's boyfriend's sweat pants, and met her. We went to Chili's in Santana Row. We decided to walk around the area a little bit, especially since I never really have before. I told Andrea about my imaginary trip to the mall. She thought that sounded like fun so we went.  (It looked nothing like this when we went. It was darker and many more people). It is a bunch of uppity stores, many of which have less than 100 items on display, all costing a buttloada money. Which begs the question, how do they stay in business? There was one store I wanted to go to that I saw in a magazine called Hipwear. They were advertising sexy Halloween costumes in the ad. The store was like Fredricks of Hollywood but more expensive (they have men's underwear at Fredricks! Like any straight man would buy underwear there! And thank god!). All the costumes were slutty costumes in bags (I don't much care for costumes in bags). Some of them were removed from the bag and hung up. They looked like they were really cheap. If I wanted to make myself look cheap, I would not want to be wearing clothes that look cheap (Dig?) We walked around the stores and fancy restaurants. It was pretty boring and lame. It seemed like it would be more appropriate in Granite Bay than San Jose. Point me in the direction of a Target! The only relatively good place we went was Urban Outfitters. I often find that I seem to like the shirts available to the boys better than the girls. Looked at a lot of the books upstairs. I didn't but anything. Everything was in that old 70's style that's really popular right now. Saw this one on the store's website:  (Except there is too much cowboy stuff in it. Texas is not The South. It's not the Southwest either. Texas is just kind of a juggernaut wedged in the middle of the country). This one is good too. This would be another one my parents would love:  Andrea and I went back to her apartment, we drank. I had about 2 more beers than she did; I was a little buzzed, but she was falling down drunk. We watched Just Married. It was dumb. Ashton Kutcher is a relatively skinny guy who looks like he's wearing make-up. I guess it's just him. The most disturbing thing about that movie is they only had sex before they were married. I think I commented more and stuff to Andrea. I was disinterested by the end. Then we watched Teen Girl Squads and the Trogdor Strong Bad e-mail... Burninating all the thatched-roof cottaaaaaaaages! Then Andrea's boyfriend (who came over after the movie and the Homestar Runner's) drove me home. When I got back up to my room, I talked to my neighbor across the hall, Eric. I found out he likes to go bike riding. He doesn't have a car. I told him not only did I have a car, I have a bicycle, and a bike rack, and maybe somedays we could riding somewhere that isn't Caesar Chavez park. So that will be fun. Then I tried to update my journal. But I was so tired (and a little buzzed) that I couldn't focus to well. And I woke up this morning, drank a bunch of water. Slept of the rest of my wooziness, and awoke at 11:00 having dreamed about the Urban Outfitters store. And now, since I haven't gone in 2 days, and I've wasted all this time writing, I really need to go to the gym. I need to draw one of these things for homework tonight.  Current Mood:  Meh
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