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| Today and tomorrow |
| 05.06.05 (11:06 pm) [edit] |
|
I had a short insecure freak-out in my class this morning. The same you're-not-ever-going-to- be-good-enough-to-survive thoughts keep popping up. If it weren't the end of the semester, I might go back to counseling. I had a dream that I failed my Friday class. I am pretty sure I'm not going to get an F or even a D. But I guess I looked at some of my drawings from last time and realized they hadn't changed as much as I thought they had. So that worries me. When he talks about how good everyone in the class is, this time I know he's talking about everyone except me. After that class I painted for 6 hours. The time flew by mostly because I was listening to music and dancing some as I painted. I like it so much better than in class. I'm afraid to dance in class. But at the same time, I'm always watching the clock and end up leaving early. I really really want to go to Disneyland... Tomorrow, I finally take that trip just for myself to San Francisco where I will attempt to complete my sketchbook which by 5:00 tomorrow will be filled with guesture drawings of fish and other zoo animals. Hopefully, there will be time for a bike ride in there too. The other good thing I will do will be replace my sunglasses at the Hooker/Drag Queen store.  (it would be the place seen in the background). I didn't tell my parents I was going. Mostly to avoid the "Who are you going with? No one? Do you think that's really a good idea?" conversation. And yes, since no one wants to sit around with me and watch me draw, and I don't want to feel like I'm holding anyone back, I do. But now, I must sleep. Current Mood:  tired
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| 0 Comments |
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